God, Groundhog Day & Government

The roots of Groundhog Day go back to the Bible and perhaps even earlier.

The Romans considered February [the name comes from februa, to purify] as "a time of cleansing in preparation for a fresh start" because the the month comes halfway between December 21, the first day of winter in the Northern Hemisphere, and March 21 (the Spring or Vernal Equinox).

The connection to the Bible is that in Hebrew tradition mothers were required to purify their children in the temple 40 days after giving birth.

Mary, mother of Jesus, purified Jesus on Feb. 2nd, 40 days after Jesus's birth, establishing the tradition of the "Feast of the Presentation."

The early Christians, working off of an earlier Roman tradition, associated February 2nd with the lighting of candles (i.e. "the bringing of new light") and established "Candlemas" as a Christian tradition. In the ancient Pagan world, Groundhog Day was known as Imbolc.

A Candlemas rhyme was developed to mark the occasion of the turning of the seasons, and the rhyme suggested that Candlemas itself was a kind of weather predictor:

Somewhere along the way the weather-predictive power of Candlemas came to be associated with badgers. No one is quite sure why, but it is probably due to pre-Christian Germanic tradition that associated the romantic roamings of this large weasel with the start of a slowly lengthening day.

In any case, when German and Dutch immigrants came to Eastern North America there were no badgers to be found, and so they transposed their badger tradition to the groundhog, which also burrowed in the ground and which also came out of hibernation at approximately the same period of time.

In 1887, Clymer H. Freas, city editor of the Punxsutawney Spirit newspaper in Punxsutawney, Pennsylvania came up with the idea of a "Punxsutawney Groundhog Club" as a kind of boosterism for his ill-begotten city (the name Punxsutawney means "place of sand flies").

It was a crazy idea, but perseverence paid off. Over the course of several years, story and ritual were heaped up, and the Punxsutawney Groundhog Club stoked the flames of a myth, claiming that "Punxsutawney Phil" was a legendary groundhog that never died and could predict the weather for six weeks in advance. If Punxsutawny Phil can see his shadow, so the legend goes, then six weeks of winter are supposedly at hand. Of course, that's not too big a leap: six weeks is approximately the time of the Spring Equinox (March 20th.)

In December of 2004, the 100-year-old civic boosterism of Clymer H. Freas came to its latest fruition when Congressman John Peterson (R-Pa.) managed to snake $100,000 in Federal funding out of Congress for a "Punxsutawney Weather Discovery Center".

The "grand opening" of the Punxsutawney Weather Discovery Center was Groundhog Day, 2006, but (you will be relieved to hear) it already has a home on the Web. Just >> Click here.
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"If Candlemas be fair and bright,
Winter has another flight.
If Candlemas brings clouds and rain,
Winter will not come again."

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When Did Pagan Easter Bunnies Show Up?

According to the Venerable Bede, Easter or Eostre, was the pagan goddess of fertility, spring and the dawn.

Her symbols, we are told, were flowers, rabbits, and eggs, as well as the sun and the moon.

According to an ancient German tale associated with Eostre (a tale that seems to first pop up as a Brother's Grimm's Fairy Tale), a little girl found a bird in the snow that was close to death, and she prayed to Eostre, the Goddess of Spring, to help the bird.

Eostre appeared, crossing a rainbow bridge, with the snow melting before her feet as she walked. Seeing that the bird was badly wounded and cold, she magically turned it into a rabbit so it could survive the blustery winds. Unfortunately, however the transformation from bird to rabbit was incomplete, and the rabbit retained the ability to lay eggs. Nonetheless, in thanks for savings its life, the rabbit took the eggs that it laid, and decorated them, offering them up as gifts to Eostre at this time of year.

Yes, a pretty crazy story.

And no, I do not make this stuff up (someone else does that).

• Related Post:** Happy Festivus

Beware

He will make you do irrational things and may restrict your diet.
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Happy Hanukkah!

Andy Borowitz writes: 

"Hanukkah is the most American holiday because it's a celebration of burning oil that we don't have."

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  ** Hunting on Sunday

My God Is Not Under New Management

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Pedophiles, Puppy Peddlers & Collateral Damage

Donald McCaig, border collie man, sheep man, Virginian, celebrated novelist, defender of working dogs, poet, essayist, and author of the New York Times best sellers, Eminent Dogs and Dangerous Men and Rhett Butler's People, writes of yesterday's post about Sick Puppies and Broken Dogs in which I note that the hierarchies of the Kennel Club and the Catholic Church have a lot in common when it comes to winking at systematic abuse:

I think Patrick has an analogy that is apt. When we Border Collie people tried to convince the AKC that conformation breeding would destroy the sheepdog's working ability and, hence, change the breed into something else, we were astonished that they didn't care. At first I thought they were entirely indifferent to dog well being - only after a long time (and long struggle) did I understand that their belief in the value of conformation breeding and showing was quasi religious - a matter of faith.

And what we faced wasn't -as we had thought - a simple matter of informing them what the certain consequences would be once they started breeding Border Collies by quite different standards - we had a theological dispute.

We knew the show bred Border Collie would become, after several generations, unable to do its traditional work. They believed they were taking a rough piece of doggy clay and "refining" it so it might accompany the gentlefolk anywhere.

The AKC's obliviousness to the harm they have done is analogous to the harm the Catholic church has done, but it's important to realize that they didn't create that harm because they were the spawn of Satan or dumb as rocks.

The Catholic church believes that all souls are redeemable - that every compulsive pedophile can confess his sins, ask for God's help, and stop buggering choirboys.

This is an core tenet of almost every Christian church. Yes, you can be saved. Go and sin no more. Sure the church had venial motives for protecting priests but, BY ITS OWN BELIEFS, it was also protecting the priests' immortal souls. Those choirboys were collateral damage.

So too the AKC. If a few dogs are malformed for the showring, if the cost in dog/owner suffering is very high, look at all the handsome, refined breeds that DON'T have health problems. Wouldn't you like to own an improved canine aristocrat? Genetically compromised breeds are collateral damage.

Those of us who think the damage is more important than the successes can learn a lesson from Rev. Harold Camping's congregation.

Most of us imagine that predicting the end of the world, and the world not ending, is a a deal breaker. But most of the Rev's congregation still attends, pays their tithes, and believe Rev Camping's a prophet. End of the world? Well, nobody gets it right all the time!

A recent study of such congregations (can't remember where I read it) noted that the "deal breaker" for most of us (End of the world, buggered choirboys, bulldogs unable to breathe) is a minor glitch to true believers. (Eric Hoffer is still pertinent). The True Believer is surrounded by other True Believers and to abandon the core beliefs (redeemability of souls, betterment of breeds, the validity of prophecy) is to enter the unfriendly, incomprehensible darkness where decent people dare not venture.

• Related Links:
  ** Border Collie Owners Battle What Doesn't Work
  ** Don McCaig on Pedigrees and Paranoia Politics
  ** An American Home Place

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God Plays Favorites

How twisted is religious education, when this is the message and this is how they sell it?  Source.
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Found This In My Door

I always enter through the garage door, so this may have been left Saturday, which explains the problem.
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Are You Rapture-Ready?

To order your copy.

As most of you know by now, the end of the world is scheduled for late in the day on May 21st when The Rapture begins and the world of man ends. 

You are prepared of course, but what about your pets?

Good News (pun intended).  The pagans have come up with a solution: 

Our service is plain and simple; our fee structure is reasonable.  

For $135.00 we will guarantee that should the Rapture occur within ten (10) years of receipt of payment, one pet per residence will be saved. Each additional pet at your residence will be saved for an additional $20.00 fee. A small price to pay for your peace of mind and the health and safety of your four legged and feathered friends.

If you truly believe in Jesus, you will post this to your Facebook wall all day.
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Darwin Day is February 12th

Evolution Made Us All from Ben Hillman on Vimeo.

Let us prey.

This little ditty will be featured in the hymnal of the First Church of Field and Stream, as soon as we get around to writing a hymnal.
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Massive Time Saving Idea

Just in time for the Festivus Season.  I could have thought of this.  One again I am losing my chance to make a small fortune.
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Please God, Send Bears to Instruct

The bears of Elisha

It's time for God to thin the herd and unleash a wave of Grizzly Bears to kill at least one whack-job on the religious right.

That's the conclusion I reached after Marge W. sent me a story about Bryan Fischer, the "Director of Issues Analysis" for the conservative, hate-spewing "Christian" group called the American Family Association.

Mr. Fischer writes that we need to kill all the Grizzly Bears in Yellowstone National Park:

One human being is worth more than an infinite number of grizzly bears. Another way to put it is that there is no number of live grizzlies worth one dead human being. If it’s a choice between grizzlies and humans, the grizzlies have to go. And it’s time.....

God makes it clear in Scripture that deaths of people and livestock at the hands of savage beasts is a sign that the land is under a curse.

Right. Mr. Fisher is obviously an idiot.

More to the point he's also a Biblical ignorant who does not know that Bears are an instrument of God.

But don't take my word for it.

Go to your Bible and read the story of Elisha and the bears at 2 Kings 2:23-25.

There we find that God sends KILLER BEARS to do his work.

And for the record, Elisha is not just "a Jewish thing." Among Christians, Elisha is venerated as Saint Eliseus, and in Islam he is know as Al-Yasa. This is basic religion.

Everywhere He goes, the Bears of God follow.

But apparently, this is new information to Bryan Fischer.

Which is why I am asking every reader of this blog to bow their head and ask God to send Grizzly Bears to school this fool who would besmirch the Good Original Design of God's own miraculous creation.

We Prey in the name of Elisha, Saint Eliseus, and Al Yasa .... AMEN.

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Your Dog's Going to Hell, Mine's Already in Heaven

I have never understood Communion.

How is a cracker made in a factory in Ohio, and grape juice bought in a jug at Safeway, the blood and body of Christ?

How is a magical wafer any less funny that magic underwear (Mormonism), or space aliens from another planet (Scientology), or a Monkey God?

And why are Christian churches playing pantomine cannibalism anyway?

I ask this because the latest news is that someone in Toronto is outraged that a priest gave a communion cracker to a dog.

According to those in attendance at the historical church at 188 Carlton St. in downtown Toronto, it was a spontaneous gesture, one intended to make both the dog and its owner – a first timer at the church — feel welcomed. But at least one parishioner saw the act as an affront to the rules and regulations of the Anglican Church. He filed a complaint with the reverend and with the Anglican Diocese of Toronto about the incident – and has since left the church.

“I wrote back to the parishioner that it is not the policy of the Anglican Church to give communion to animals,” said Bishop Patrick Yu, the area bishop of York-Scarborough responsible for St. Peter’s, who received the complaint in early July. “I can see why people would be offended. It is a strange and shocking thing, and I have never heard of it happening before.

Really? They are outraged?

Bishop Yu is running around like a scared gerbil because some nameless, faceless person has complained that "the magic cookie" should not be given to a dog?

I am broad-minded. If you want to go to a church that hates dogs and coddles haters, knock yourself out.

If you want to dance around in your magic underwear while eating magic cookies and talking about space aliens, monkey Gods, and cannibalism I am all for that too.

Each to his own.

But as for myself, I worship at a different church: the First Church of Field and Stream. It in an ancient church, it is the First Church, and it is not under new management:

In the First Church of Field and Stream, the resurrection story is told by fritillary butterflies and red-eared sliding turtles. The story of life everlasting is told by a young couple on a river outting, and a pair of deer bouncing across a bright green field of emerging barley.

You do not have to read these stories in a book; At the First Church of Field and Stream you can see them for yourself.

And, for the record, the First Church of Field and Stream does not hate dogs. In fact, they are part of our communion ritual.

Let us prey.

January 26, 1962 episode called "The Hunt"

From The Twilight Zone TV Series

"A dog's got a right to have a man around, just the same as that man's got a right to have a dog around.... I wonder what kind of a tea party they keep in there anyways? Must be city folks mostly. They'd be the ones most likely to outlaw coon hunting."

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In the Beginning

Repost from April 2005.

"The earth trembled and a great rift appeared, separating the first man and woman from the rest of the animal kingdom. As the chasm grew deeper and wider, all the other creatures, afraid for their lives, returned to the forest -- except for the dog, who after much consideration, leapt the perilous rift to stay with the humans on the other side. His love for humanity was greater than his bond to other creatures, he explained, and he willingly forfeited his place in paradise to prove it."

4 Native American folktale from "The Lost History of the Canine Race" by Mary Elizabeth Thurston

Compared to What?

Is there anything wrong with your life that a little more gratitude could not fix?
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Round and Round in the Circle Game

May the circle be unbroken.

I found this graphic on my computer today while I was looking for something else. I suspect I saved it a few years back when I was writing about global wildlife migrations and the fact that everything is connected, left to right, up and down, all over the world.

Yes, migration is about more than birds. It includes whales, sharks, tuna, seals, wildebeests, elephants, turtles, pronghorn antelope, butterflies, dragonflies, and even senior citizens going to Florida for the winter.

Of course, the circle game is bigger than that isn't it?

The nuclear molten core of the earth is a bubbling cauldron of magma, and that magma is seething up and cooling down, like boiling water in a pot.

Even as the molten rock goes up and down, it slowly pushes the vast plates of the earth around, and on top of these massive plates of super dense rock floats "the light stuff" like granite, dirt, sand, redwoods, elephants, and us.

And, of course the great nuclear ball that is the sun heats up the oceans which have massive upwellings of water at the equator, and massive downwelling at the poles.

These in turn drive vast ripping ocean currents we call the Gulf Stream or Humboldt's Current, or the Indian Ocean Gyre, and these in turn determine where the fish feed and whether we need to throw another log on the fire in December.

Several times a day the gravity of the moon pulls billions of pounds of water this way or that, driving water backward up rivers, fueling tidal bores, and pushing waves up and down a million miles of crab-speckled beaches.

The atmosphere too boils up and cools down, with massive upwellings and downwellings of air, and vast ripping currents of wind driving themselves around the earth in clear patterns we call the Air Stream or the Trade Winds or the Doldrums, depending on where they are and what they are doing.

The ground we live on also boils with life as worms and groundhogs, ants, plants and fungi, turn over the soil and build upon it, pulling things down and lifting things up.



And on top of this boiling planet we fight the change.

We try to build for permanence and prevent extinctions.

We fear both global warming and global cooling.

We worry about energy and where we will get it.

We are upset when butterfly, bird, mammal and fish migrations change, and we are equally upset when they do not, and the animals pass away in the face of changing circumstances.

As a rule we are oblivious.

Elephants now live in the heat of Africa and Asia, but their cousins once roamed the frozen north, and we do not think to wonder why none are there now.

Birds fly overhead unseen, coming from places we do not wonder about, and going to places we cannot imagine.

We do not know the name of the drainage we live in, or how the creek behind our house makes its way to the ocean.

We do not even know the names of all the trees in our backyard.

Meanwhile, we go to work in our prisons on the road, stuck in traffic, insulated from the weather, our minds spinning; the world's longest playing record, all the grooves running to the great self-obsessed hole in the center.

“Efé children of the Ituri Forest in Zaire (Rep. of Congo, central Africa) begin the Osani game by sitting in a circle, feet touching, all connected. Each child in turn names a round object like the sun (oi), the moon (tiba), a star (bibi) an eye (ue) and then goes on to name a figurative expression of “round” like the circle of the family, togetherness, a baby in the womb, or the cycle of the moon. As players fail to come up with a term that is “circular” they are eliminated from the game. Eventually, only one remains. Tradition has it that this player will live a long and prosperous life.” :: source

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Amazing Jesus

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Coffee and Provocation

Dogs More Like Us Than Chimps?
Are dogs more like us than chimps? Maybe. Jozsef Topal of the Institute for Psychology at the Hungarian Academy of Sciences says so, in any case: "In my view, pet dogs can be regarded in many respects as 'preverbal infants in canine's clothing,'" he says, adding that many dog-owner relationships mirror human parental bonds with children. >> More here

Healthy Dalmatians?
Healthy Dalmatians? There's an idea! Here's the back story for those trying to keep up. Want to help set things right? Here's a start: an ipetition to the AKC asking them to allow backcross Dalmatians to be registered.

The Sibley Guide to Birds is Now Online:
Good news: the Sibley bird guides are now on line. Yes! Yahoo!

The Ironic Death of an Organic Farming Guru & Health Nut:
Jerome Irving Rodale was the founder of the organic food movement, the publisher and creator of Prevention magazine, and the author of a huge book on composting that my father used to own. In 1971, he told interviewer Dick Cavett that he'd live to 100. Moments later, the 72-year old Rodale slumped dead in his chair from a heart attack. That episode of The Dick Cavett Show was never broadcast.

Gouldian Finch:
There are now far more Gouldian Finches in captivity than there are in the wild. How many other animals is this true of? The Siberian Tiger, and most other subspecies of Tiger I think. The Hyacinth Macaw, I am pretty sure. Cotton-top Tamarins. Anything else??

Different Strokes:
The opening of the old TV show, with different music. Yes, music does make a difference!

50 Things Every 18-year-old Should Know:
Basic stuff we should all know. Now, what are the 50 things a 50-year old should know?

God Hates Figs!
Yes, you read that right. God hates figs. See Mark 11: 12-14 and Matthew 21: 18-20 and Jeremiah 29:17 for conformation. I am pretty sure God loves everything else, however!

First Gorillas, Now Orangutans:
National Geographic says a large population of over 2,000 Orangutans has been discovered in Borneo. This follows the new discovery of a very large (100,000) population of Lowland Gorillas found in the Congo last year.

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The Mullahs of Texas

From The Wall Street Journal:

The Texas Board of Education will vote this week on a new science curriculum designed to challenge the guiding principle of evolution, a step that could influence what is taught in biology classes across the nation.

The proposed curriculum change would prompt teachers to raise doubts that all life on Earth is descended from common ancestry. Texas is such a huge textbook market that many publishers write to the state's standards, then market those books nationwide.

"This is the most specific assault I've seen against evolution and modern science," said Steven Newton, a project director at the National Center for Science Education, which promotes teaching of evolution.

Texas school board chairman Don McLeroy also sees the curriculum as a landmark -- but a positive one.

Dr. McLeroy believes that God created the earth less than 10,000 years ago. If the new curriculum passes, he says he will insist that high-school biology textbooks point out specific aspects of the fossil record that, in his view, undermine the theory that all life on Earth is descended from primitive scraps of genetic material that first emerged in the primordial muck about 3.9 billion years ago.

He also wants the texts to make the case that individual cells are far too complex to have evolved by chance mutation and natural selection, an argument popular with those who believe an intelligent designer created the universe.

In Japan and China, they are cheering this on, as the rejection of Darwin will set back American schools 100 years, and guarantee that Asia will dominate the global economy for the next 100 years, the Golden Age of Biotechnology.

In Iran and Iraq and Afghanistan, they are cheering this on as well, but for a different reason.

Could the religious zealots of the Taliban variety gain a foothold in the U.S.? It appears they are well on their way to do so. And all you have to do to help is remain silent...



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And in the End, Only One Question

At the end of life, when you are begging God for a little more time on Earth, you will hear only one question whispered softly in your ear: "And what did you do with the time that I gave you?"
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