Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Get on the Bus With the AKC!

The American Kennel Club is very excited and wants to tell you all about their latest plan.

For the past one hundred twenty five years, the American Kennel Club has been the nation's premier advocate for dogs and the people who love them. Today, we are delighted to tell you that AKC can now act even more broadly and effectively as the dog's champion. Our Board of Directors has voted unanimously to proceed with a program for mixed breed dogs.

It seems that that for $35 they'll now register your mixed breed dog.

  • No, you cannot show it. You cannot show a mixed-breed dog because mixed-breed dogs are, by definition, ugly. My God, if you go down that road, what will be next: allowing non-whites to compete in beauty contests?

  • No you cannot breed it. Mixed breeds must be spayed and neutered. Mandatory! They are, after all, God's mistake.

  • No, there is no mention of being able to compete a mixed-breed dog in a working or hunting dog trial. Think it through: what if a mixed-race mixed breed dog won a working trial? The humiliation! We could never allow that to happen.

  • Yes, your dog can compete in agility, obedience and rally, but only at stand-alone events, and never at All Breed Shows, Group Shows, or independent specialties. The AKC discourages race-mixing.

  • No, your dog will not be able to compete directly with AKC dogs. Mixed breed dogs will compete in separate class divisions from AKC purebred dogs. Be happy we even allow you to sit at the back of the bus.

Best off of all: You get a window sticker for your car and a chance to buy pet insurance from the AKC!

Who can resist that offer!

Remember: The AKC is your dog's best friend, but NO INTEGRATION!



retrieverman said...

They just want the cash from the registrations. And that is it.

These registrations will be worthless. In fact, you're almost better off going to one of those "clandestine" registries that registers anything (maybe even hyenas) than register a mixed breed dog with the AKC.

I remember the fuss that erupted when the AKC decided to allow the racing bred greyhounds to compete in lure coursing. Those racing dogs are registered with the NGA originally, and the AKC let them run in coursing trials against their AKC show greyhounds, which are bred for a beautiful physique but not speed alone.

You will get a kick out of this:

Retrieverman said...

That should be AKC refused to let NGA dogs do lure coursing.

Seahorse said...

I have a parrot that barks better than most dogs. I wonder if I can get a window sticker for him?

Seahorse ;)

Viatecio said... have to neuter your dog. EVEN THOUGH, in the document explaining the program, (section 1-d-i, to be specific), they trumpet that the AKC "actively supports the right to own and breed dogs responsibly by fighting anti-ownership legislation at the local, state and federal level."

Isn't mandatory sterilization "anti-ownership" in that it gives the owner absolutely no choice as to what HE wants to do with HIS dog that is living with, cared for and trained by HIM? Am I right to be thinking of that government analogy with cows, in which the government takes away both of your cows, hiring you to care for them, and then selling you the milk?

Miki said...

The breed list I'm on was full of chatter about this, but only a very few list members registered "disgust" and felt this threatened all the work breed clubs were doing to "maintain the purity" of their breeds. Frankly, this surprised me because there's a lot of twisted snobbery on that list, but most people recognized this as the money making thing it is.

BTW - I posted a link to your blog for folks who wanted to read about more money making adventures of the AKC, i.e., its support of puppy mills. Hmmm - do we see a pattern here?

babysweet said...

Just when you think the audacity of this club can`t get any more transparent... BAM! They smack you right between the eyes.

Honestly... $35 for a paper that says I have to alter my dogs... I`ll take the UKC, thank you very much - that is, if I want to buy an expensive piece of paper that means absolutely nothing, regardless of your dogs race. Oops - I mean brand. OOPS - I mean breed. ;O)

Susan said...

How ironic that the AKC came out with this pronouncement at about the same time that baseball celebrated Jackie Robinson's breaking the color barrier in that sport. If I competed my Golden Retriever in any AKC events, I'd want her to sport #42.