Friday, January 30, 2009

Zombies, Time Wasters and the Mentally Ill

I did not start this blog to meet you.

I did not start this blog because I wanted to answer stupid questions from people who are too lazy to use the Google.

I did not start this blog because I wanted to engage in endless political debate with unintelligent ideologues with wacko political theories, or food faddists, or breed-blind frustrated hair dressers.

For several years, I simply turned off the comments section to this blog rather than deal with the never-ending tide of trolls who confuse blogs with chat rooms or list-servs or Internet bulletin boards.

About a year back, I opened up the comments part of the blog after Blogger embraced technology that more-or-less killed the advertising spam bots, but I still get trolls and fools, and instant experts who think they will slip their nonsense out to the world by piggy-backing it into the comments section of this blog.

What to do? Do I want my time to be controlled by anonymous fools who post in the comments section?

Or do I want to write on what I want to write about, and spend the rest of my time with family, friends, and normal life tasks?

Do I simply let nonsense stand and hope someone else will take their valuable time answering or rebutting it?

And why should I host a space for complete nonsense anyway?

At the end of my life, what would I rather have done? How will I wish I had spent my time?

How much time theft should I allow from people I do not know, who do not have real names, and will not use a real email address?

A few months ago, I added pointed instructions to the comments section of this blog.

That helped a bit, but not enough.

So now I am imposing a new rule: No Zombies.

If you are a left-wing, vegan, bunny-hugger zombie, go away. I don't want to hear your shit and neither does anyone else.

Ditto if you are a right-wing paranoid zombie who cannot stop talking about how important your right-to-carry is. Go away. This is not your spot.

Ditto if you are a Lyndon LaRouche zombie, or a Ron Paul zombie, or a Trump Zombie. Go away.

If you are a dog food faddist zombie, go away.

If you are a pit bull fighting zombie, go away.

If you do not have a real name and a real email address you are willing to attach to your comments, then you are a zombie. Go away.

If you are a proselytizing born-again anything kind of zombie, go away.  If you are a stalker, a nutter or a pretender, go away.

I write what I want to write about, and if you don't like it, go away.

If I have a well-formed political opinion, and you disagree with it, go away. Or at least STFU. Start your own blog.

I did not start this blog to provide a forum for you!

Blogs are about attraction not promotion.

If you do not like what I am talking about, go away.

This blog is not a democracy and you have no rights here. If you are having a hard time with that idea, go away.

Does that mean I get it right on all the time? No, of course not.

Sometimes I get it wrong, and I am quick to correct when I do. But if I got it wrong, please supply a link to a credible source. Use the Google. And do not confuse anecdote with statistics or typing with writing. If you are writing really long and have no sources, you are doing something wrong.

If I have obviously slipped in my logic, or missed a good example, or forgotten part of a history, or gotten a number wrong, let me know. It happens, and I thank people who let me now.

But if you are simply a Zombie, a Troll, or an Anonymous Coward, or a typist, go away.

I do not have the time, and I will not supply the forum.


Chas S. Clifton said...

Gosh, Patrick, are you trying to take all the fun out of blogging?

PBurns said...

Nah -- trying to keep the fun in it. :)


Pit bull NM said...

Good stuff! Love the cartoons!

I just finished reading Peggy Noonan's, "Patriotic Grace", and she dedicates a portion of it to discussing her observations of the internet and it's manner of spreading information. Here's a little snippet you may enjoy:

"They speak anonymously on comment threads, in e-mails, and because they don't have to put their names to what they say, they don't have to stand by their views. In this sense they are cowardly and should feel shame." P. Noonan, Patriotic Grace.


sfox said...

Boy, the comments on my blog must pale in comparison to what is bestowed upon you. Of course, I don't kick the hornet's nest with your witty, concise enthusiasm, either ;-)

Unknown said...

This is too funny!

Linda D.
Tucson, Arizona

Unknown said...

Love this bit. Very good AND entertaining!

Kathleen Riley said...

Enjoyed that, thanks for posting it.

Kathleen Riley said...

Enjoyed reading that, thanks for putting it out there.

Walter Jeffries said...

Well said. I have a zombie I'm being nice to right now - I'm ignoring it. It is persistent though.

Did you do the No Zombie cartoon graphic? If so may I use it on my blog and link back to this post with it? You have said it all very well.


in Vermont

Catherine Mommsen Scott said...

I came here just to find out about local hawks and ended up laughing and hooting. Right on!

Chazwiki said...

Thanks for the post about heartworms. It was well written and informational.

Unknown said...

This is hilarious.

Kate said...

So does that mean the annoying persistence of being called Google Account might make me look like one of those? I'm trying to be a human but The Google won't let me!