The philandering Vice President of the United States sends his ethnic wife to visit Greenland, uninvited, after the senile and overtly racist President of the US says the US would soon take Greenland “one way or another”.
A Russian sniper, sent to Greenland two weeks earlier, fires a shot that shatters the spine of the VP’s wife, and the sniper then disappears, unidentified.
The President of the United Staes uses the sniper attack as an excuse to invade Greenland, an independent territory of Denmark.
The US invasion of the territory of Denmark triggers Article 4 of NATO, leading to the immediate expusion of all US bases out of Europe.
Within a week, Putin is making parallels between the Russian invasion of Ukraine, and the US invasion of Greenland, saying all countries have a right to “secure their borders and their people” against “violence and provocation”.
Later, it turns out that the Russians have been listening to supposedly “secret and discrete” chats on Signal, whereby the President and his Vice President have arranged for massive kickbacks and bribes from both companies and foreign nations using crypto-currency, the sale of worthless trinkets, and stock-manipulation schemes.
The Signal traffic also reveals that the Vice President has been involved in two extra-marital affairs, and has voiced considerable dissatisfaction with his marriage, which now clashes with his political ambitions.
In a surprise move, following the US invasion of Greenland, Canada announces that Pornhub and two related sites headquartered in Canada are, in fact, owned by a Cayman Island-owned holding companies owned by Russian organized crime and believed to be operating as GRU cut-outs.
Rumors in Washington swirl as lists of the porn-watching habbits of fascist-apolgist politicians and business leaders are posted to the Internet. The elderly Senator from Louisiana issues a press release denying he has ever watched dwarf porn, while the Senator from South Carolina says he will not “dignify” his reported viewing habits with a response.
In the ensuing chaos, seven northern border states secede from the US and join Canada as “provisional provinces of Canada,” while Texas declares itself to be a newly independent nation.
The movie ends with a team of Navy Seals, organizing in secret, and headed by a cool, clear-eyed, and capable six-foot-two inch lesbian, down-roping onto the roof of a Florida country club owned by the President. In the resulting fire-fight, two dozen bad people get two to the chest and one to the head as face-lifted, silicone inflated, wig-wearing hanger-ons scream and run, falling into the pool, sprawling over a gold-plated omelet station, and disappearing into a dark night puncuated by golf carts and the fluttering flags of putting greens.
As the sun comes up the next morning, the camera pulls back revealing that it’s many months later as a new President is sworn into office.
Inauguration Day news commentators fill in the denouement of the last Administration, and the rise of a new administration, which has promised to tax billionares, stop subsidizing large businesses, and require four years of high school civics courses.
As the last minute of news comentator explanation and commentary trails off, we see the billionaire South African financier of the last Administration standing in a passport line to exit the country for parts unknown.
Credits roll.
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