Best Concert Announcement Ever

From the Detroit Metro Times comes this thing of beauty:

Kid Rock, please go away after your 4-show run at DTE Energy Music Theatre

Kid Rock claims to be many things.

One minute he’s a rock ’n’ roll Jesus, another he’s a cowboy, an American badass, a proud redneck, and a theatrical contender for a seat in the U.S. Senate. But what he really is — a right-wing apologist, former champion of the Confederate flag, sexist, transphobic shit-talker who, despite his homegrown claims of being “straight out of the trailer” grew up in a sprawling, 5,600-square-foot estate in Macomb County complete with an apple orchard and an indoor jacuzzi room — is a total bullshit artist… and that’s why people love him so.

Robert “Kid Rock” Ritchie represents the bombast of Trump’s America and is the musical equivalent of a DUI with all the charm of a human cigarette. Good news, though: In the last year, both Kid’s childhood estate and his Detroit River digs have been put on the market, which might put some distance between Detroit and the country-rap-rocker who once had a sex tape leak of him enjoying a backstage blow-job from some groupies alongside Creed frontman Scott Stapp.

Doors open at 7:30 p.m. Friday, Sept. 6, Saturday, Sept. 7, Friday, Sept. 13, and Saturday, Sept. 14, at DTE Energy Music Theatre; 33 Bob Seger Dr., Clarkston; 248-377-0100; 313presents.com. Tickets are $39+.