Monday, June 09, 2014

The Kennel Club's New Breed!

First used in the capture of Osama Bin Latten, this dog was created by U.S. Special Forces to ride shotgun in the limited space of military helicopters. Now it is entering the Kennel Club as an Alkeda, a descendant  of the Akita, and it will be the featured New Breed at the AKC/Eukanooba National Championship in Orlando, Florida in December.  So exciting!

Said noted celebrity dog walker Victoria Bilgewater, "What's wonderful about this breed for most people is that it fits so well with the modern lifestyle.  If you have a kitchen, you have a spot for an Alkeda."

In announcing the new breed, the AKC said the Alkeda already had "massive name recognition" and that it expected the breed to sell even better than the Chinook or the Portuguese Podengo Pequeno which were added to the AKC's roles last year.  

Said AKC spokesperson Charmaine Falter: "Our message is a simple one:  "If this dog fails, the terrierists win." 

Not to to be outdone, the UKC has announced it too will be adding the dog to its registry, where it will be called an Alkaseltzer, "a kind of Spits" developed in Alabama at the turn of the century and made famous in the war in Afghanistan. 


Rick said...

Thanks, but I'm holding out for the 2015 model.

5string said...

Looks like the kibble won't have far to go to get from one end to the other!

Barb Young said...

Well played! If you posted this on Facebook, where satire is confusing to so (too) many, you would have thousands of orders for a puppy! And while I am here, if I may, can I say I enjoy your views on all things canine, social and political. You had me when years ago, when I first discovered your site, you described a person who was able to teach retrievers tricks and thought they knew all about dogs (paraphrase). Oops..hit home. While in the UK I picked up a norfolk terrier and am now humbled. As a British dog trainer once told me-"Retrievers are born half trained-terriers die that way". I learned to not just lower the bar, but to ignore the bar and respect the nature of the beast. Oh the little cuss can do some pretty cool tricks…for a price…and not when there is anything else distracting at those times, he doesn't know his name. He is a dog on a mission.

Fall Charmz said...

I am in shock - wow
and really….

"If this dog fails, the terrierists win."