Wednesday, July 13, 2011

How to Handle a Snapping Turtle

Todd Bieber is looking to make a documentary about "turtles, kids and the environment" and is seeking funds via Kickstarter.

This is a good and worthwhile endeavor and if you have a spare $20, $50, or $100 (and you know you do) this would be a good thing to make happen in order to tell the story of Box Turtle demise but also to fix a missing part of the instruction video below.

As luck would have it, this clip was sent to me the day after I sent off an article about handling full-on crazed animals with your bare hands without getting bit.

I know enough about that topic to write an instruction sheet, and I will post it in a few months after it appears elsewhere. Suffice it to say that if I was writing a turtle specific piece, I would have added this bit:

Don't get your dinkus bitten off.

That advice may be the single most important tip anyone can give when it comes to snapping turtle management, and yet it is, inexplicably, left out of the video clip.

It is very easy to get your dinkus bitten off when playing around with snapping turtles because, if you are a man, when you tail up the turtle to get it out of the water, or into the boat, or just to take its picture, it's head will be hanging at dinkus height, and a turtle can shoot its head out some distance. Think the distance of a snake strike and you have the right idea. Different turtles have different strike ranges, of course, but better safe that sorry. Always assume more and you will never be surprised.

Remember, it will be very hard for the surgeons to reattach your dinkus when they are laughing uncontrollably and you are bellowing in pain and the turtle is still trying to claws its way up to your eyes.

Ask me how I know!


Noel said...

Ok. How do you know?

Federico said...

How do you know then? ;)

Seahorse said...

I love the narration, which reminds me of Ira Glass.

So, I'll "bite" do you know about getting your dinkus bitten off by a snapping turtle?


PBurns said...

Read about it on the Internets. ;-)

:: whistle ::


Seahorse said...

"Looks like we're going to need...a longer arm."

Seahorse ;)