Monday, August 24, 2009

Is that a Ponzi Scheme In Your Pocket?

I knew about the Bernie Madoff fraud long before the rest of the world, but my sources apparently missed a few details about the man himself. The latest detail comes from The Gothamist:

Warning: This is extremely TMI, so those with delicate constitutions may prefer not to continue reading. Bloomberg News has an excerpt of Sheryl Weinstein's book—Madoff's Other Secret— about her alleged affair with Ponzi schemer Bernard Madoff. Weinstein writes, "Bernie had a very small penis. Not only was it on the short side, it was small in circumference. That he was now pointing it out to me was telling. It clearly caused him great angst. I wanted to be careful how I responded. Men and their penises have a strange and unique relationship...[However] I liked this man and didn’t want to emasculate him. His tiny penis hadn’t prevented me from climaxing...On the bright side, oral sex would be a breeze." Way to look on the bright side! Weinstein met Madoff while handling finances for the Hadassah organization (she invested millions of the group's money with Madoff). Madoff's lawyer said Weinstein's claims were just "allegations she has made. I certainly hope she was more discreet about her obligations to Hadassah than she was about her sex life [which is] far less interesting." Zing! [Via Daily Intel] .
So much for any hope he ever had of having a cool prison name, like "Stimulus Package."

1 comment:

retrieverman said...

Now, this is from the New York Post, but I just found out that Bernie is suffering from pancreatic cancer and is slowly dying.

He's also hanging out with Native American prisoners.

Granted, this is the Post.

And prisoners aren't known to be reliable sources.