Friday, June 08, 2007

Jesus, That's a Lot of Camo

Devout readers of this blog might remember that a while back I noted some fools over at PETA had suggested that Jesus was a vegetarian. I cited Biblical sources, noting that Jesus was not only NOT a vegetarian, he served lamb at the Last Supper, and one of his major miracles was "the miracle of loaves and fishes," and not "the miracle of loaves and tofu."

I then went on to prove, using Biblical sources, that God is a meat-eater.

Now, for those interested in carrying this Good News message out into the woods, I am happy to report that several new camouflaged versions of the Bible are available. This information comes to us via way of J.R. Absher's blog over at Outdoor Life, who notes that a camo coffin is also now available.

Just to add to the items listed, I would note that over at Cabela's they have all kinds of camo bedding (Mossy Oak sheets and comforters, anyone?), cameras, baby shoes, diaper bags, and burp bibs to say nothing of regular clothing for everyone from toddlers to geriatrics. And of course there's no limit to the camo gun and bow wrap, packs, rain gear, boots, belts, gun cases, and deer stands. Leaving Cabela's and hitting a few more sites, we can find camo versions of ladies intimates (Don't lose her in the camo sheets, boys!), and camouflage wedding dresses, to say nothing of camo leashes, collars and dog beds.

Oddly, I do not own a single piece of camo clothing; I'm a Carhartt man. When you're digging on the dogs, the critters tend to be underground and visuals are not too much of a problem; what you need is something that will not wear out from repeated contact with dirt and briars.

Carhartt offers the kind of camouflage I need -- it makes a crazy terrierman look like anyone else that might normally be found on a farm. Blend in, blend in. There are no crazy people here; move on.

As for any PETA members that might be upset by all this camo, and especially the camo Bible, I have Good News: this new camo Bible is printed entirely with paper. The first Gutenberg Bible, on the other hand, was printed on the skins of over 300 sheep, while the Dead Sea Scrolls were printed on the skins of thousands of goats.
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1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Does anyone make seat covers for a 2007 Saturn Ion? Not all of us drive trucks or SUVs!

One thing I could never figure out in the camo fashion is the need for camo knives and wallets. One drop and a prized possession may well be lost if the design is good.