The old Gods?
Those are myths clung to by the foolish and the frightened.
The new religion of a self-proclaimed spiritual leader?
That’s a cult of gullible ignorants enslaved by personality, loneliness, and self-deception.
But your story of a talking snake and a zombie that comes back from the dead?
That’s the sacred text of someone with special knowledge who has been chosen to live forever in heaven, while nonbelievers will boil in a lake of fire.
Because God is love. 🤷♂️