Monday, January 14, 2019

Uncanny Prediction


From the Red State Rustler two years ago on this day:

Fuck it, let's just do it.

Let's torch healthcare. Let's crush women's rights under a greasy boot heel. Let's thumb our noses at minority issues. Let's take a shit on the poor and a piss on the gays. Let's build that wall. Hell, build it out of pallets of hundred dollar bills for all I care.

Let's fuck the environment - the seas, land and sky. Let's replace science with faith and firmly held beliefs, and let's chase the scientists out of town with pitchforks and torches and snarling dogs.

Let's start a war or two. Let's pat our soldiers on their backs and then shove them straight into the line of fire. For love of country and freedom and God, or something. Let's see your war face, soldier!

Let's stack the Supreme Court with gunslinging Christian zealots. Let's trample rights and codify wrongs. We hold these truths. We grab these truths by the pussy. Let's close our eyes and imagine stroking off the founding fathers, all in a line, while Reagan watches.

Let's get corrupt as fuck. Let's make deals under the table with shady foreign agents. Let's start spelling shit with a lot of backward "R"s. Let's leave America's back door unlocked and a warm pot of borscht on the stove. Let's wake up in the dead of night to the sensation of Putin's throbbing member pressing against the small of our back, and let's like it.

Let's undermine the press. Let's put fact and fiction in a blender and spin them around until they turn into warm gray goo. Lies! It's all lies!

Let's put assholes and in-laws and poker buddies and snakeheaded businessmen and steely-eyed warhawks in charge of all the cogs that keep our government moving, and then let's grind this bitch to a halt.

Let's get on with it, Republican leaders, right now. You hold the reigns to this bucking bronco. You have the mandate. So crank this shitshow to eleven. Unleash two years of absolute carnage. Deregulate and destabilize and destroy. Show us the true face of unchecked greed. Burn this motherfucker to the ground. Because apparently that's what it's going to take for half of America to finally wake the fuck up.

I beg you, please, wake the beast.

Just get on with it.

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