Thursday, September 28, 2017

Coffee and Provocation

RIP Hugh Hefner
Along with ripping the wrapping off the idea that humans are sexual beasts, Hugh Hefner, who died yesterday at age 91, also stood up for the First Amendment, published a lot of good writers who needed the money, and put women in management slots inside his own company. Was Hefner also a sexist pig? Oh sure. Not often mentioned, is that it was Hugh Hefner who gave Dick Gregory the money to find the slain Mississippi Civil Rights workers back in 1964. It only happened because Dick Gregory asked, of course, but Hugh Hefner wrote the check immediately.

The Continuing Crisis
Sexual competition among ducks wreaks havoc on penis size.

How Was Facebook to Know?
The Russians paid Facebook in rubles!

Not Patriots
NASCAR threatens to fire drivers who protest the national anthem while welcoming Confederate flags at races.  Not patriots; racists.

The Republican tax plan could cost the country $2.2 trillion in lost revenue over 10 years, according to a new study by a leading conservative group. That a jaw-dropping amount of debt the "fiscal conservatives" want to pass on to you and your children so that the rich and big corporations can get a tax cut, even as it eliminates many middle-class and low-income tax deductions (i.e. this bill will probably raise your taxes).

The Continuing Crisis
The FBI seized over 3,000 human penises during a raid at a morgue employee's home. My own pizzle stick collection was larger, until it was consumed by dogs.  But if it's size you want, see this fellow (totally safe for work).

1 comment:

BarnChick said...

I love reading your collections of weird stories, however the 3000 penises one is literally "fake news". Anything from World News Daily Report is! From their disclaimer section:

WNDR assumes however all responsibility for the satirical nature of its articles and for the fictional nature of their content. All characters appearing in the articles in this website – even those based on real people – are entirely fictional and any resemblance between them and any persons, living, dead, or undead is purely a miracle.

Just for future reference.