Wednesday, December 03, 2014

Coffee and Provocation

Trampling Down the Garden of Eden
The natural world is not committing suicide; we are killing it.  Billions of people are cutting down and plowing up the Garden of Eden. Some years back we were all told world population was going to peak at nine billion by 2070 and then ease to 8.4 billion by 2100. Oops! Complete bullshit. World population now stands at 7.2 billion and recently revised U.N. data says wit will rise to 9.6 billion by 2050 and continue past 10.9 billion by 2100. The reason for the revision? Almost all of the "unexpected" population growth comes from Africa. Earlier models assumed fertility rates in Africa would drop quickly, but they haven’t.

Out With a Whimper?
Canine distemper could wipe out Siberian Tigers. This is a problem with numerous species in Africa as well with sea lions.

NPR Tells An Epic Tale 
One Swedish meatball, one stray dog, and one 430-mile endurance race.

Got a Farting Bulldog or Have a Friend With One?
Two possible gifts for the holidays:  pills that make farts smell like roses or chocolate, and boxes of matches printed up to resemble great books of literature.

Send Homeopathy Wackos to Liberia to Treat Ebola?
I started that as a joke, but son-of-a-bitch if it didn't happen.  Only problem:  they wore bio-containment suits, to make sure ebola didn't prune them off the planet.

The End of an Era?
After discovering massive amount of fraud in the pricing of penis pumps, it now looks like Congress is going to rise to the challenge and yank the Medicare-subsidization of these devices. It was a hard choice.

The Good News is Cancer Tends to Make You Lose Weight
The World Health Organization says half a million cases of cancer a year are due to people being overweight or obese, and the problem is particularly acute in North America where fat people are more common than sparrows.  How ironic is it to see fat people worry about GMO foods?  Just a little!

As Unamerican as Apple Pie?
Sanford and Sons was a British TV show?  WTF?

Stackable Saw Horses Have Multiple Uses
Need a couple of low jumps for a dog, or a low table, or want to turn an old door into a desk, or maybe you just need a couple of stacking sawhorses?  Here's the best way to make them strong, fast, and cheap.

The Continuing Crisis
New York City is neck-deep in deer, and are whales off of the battery which means the Pequod could be stoved-in any minute.

1 comment:

Michael said...

Hilarious about the fart pills. Also funny that "pet" is "fart" in French.