Friday, August 15, 2014

Humor in Uniform

An article from The Duffelbag
Veteran Working Dog Has Trouble Marketing Skills To Local Employers

VIRGINIA BEACH, Va. – If every dog has his day, Rusty’s could sure come soon.

According to sources, the Belgian Malinois – recently home from his last of six deployments overseas – has found it particularly challenging to find a market for the skills he learned as a military working dog.

“Turns out biting, growling, and launching into violent Pavlovian fits just aren’t valued skills in today’s workplace,” Rusty said. “I meet employers, tell them about my experience on the battlefield – I think it’s going great, and then they just sit there and look at me like I’m some sort of animal. Like they totally can’t relate.”...

While Rusty says he’s proud of his service and will stay on the lookout for jobs opening up, the series of disappointments has left him anxious about what peace will mean for him and dogs like him who served.

“I’ll probably wind up on the streets eating out of a dumpster,” Rusty said. “Or under a picnic table, right off the ground. Whatever I can find, honestly. I’ll eat grass and cat poop. And Lord knows I’m not above handouts.”

“Christ, I love food,” he added, salivating and spinning around three times. “Food, food, food.”

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