Thursday, August 09, 2012

Stephen Colbert Reminds Us About Values

Stephen Colbert says he would "rather eat drowned raccoon ass than eat the 'hot turd pie' offered up by Romney's supporters at Papa John's pizza.

"When you order a Papa John’s pizza, it’s only after you’ve reached a state of such desperate gnawing hunger that you’d eat the ass off a raccoon that drowned in your bird bath, and, even then, only after making absolutely sure that you’re all out of drowned raccoon ass. Now Obama expects you to shell out almost three extra nickels for this hot turd pie? Fuck that! Eat the nickels, you have your dignity.”

And, of course, Colbert is exactly right.

Every REAL American would rather eat dead raccoon ass that go backwards to the era before we freed the slaves ("prices will go up!"), before we banned child labor ("two more cents on every shirt"), and before we embraced wage and hour laws ("next, they'll be asking for a day off!").

Papa John's Pizza, and all the other bottom-feeder fast food restaurants that pump us full of grease and sugar, while paying crappy wages, and offering no health or retirement benefits, are everything that is wrong with this nation.

Thank you Stephen Colbert for reminding us that values -- American values -- should never be sold down river for a few pennies a day.

1 comment:

Seahorse said...

Solution? Child labor would drop the price to a manageable level.

Seahorse ;)