Thursday, July 14, 2011

Coffee and Provocation


Another Illegal Alien Invasion:
It's called Giant Hogweed, and the sap from this plant will cause third degree burns and blisters on your skin and can even leave you blind. Don't believe the hype? Check out the pictures and especially the contact skin burns, which are a nightmare. If this crap shows up on any of my farms, you can just guess where all the groundhog burrows are going to be.  This stuff needs to be napalmed!

A GPS Company Buys an E-Dog Collar Company:
Garmin, the world leader in satellite navigation systems, has just acquired Tri-Tronics, the leading maker of electronic dog training equipment.  Is it too much to hope that that a really good cheap tracking collars for terriers might someday be available for less?

How Many Twits are on Twitter?
There's a cat with more twitter followers than ESPN?  There's a dog with more followers than People magazine, and a snake with more followers than the BBC?  Apparently.  Whiskey, tango, foxtrot.  If you really think the world needs to "follow" you and that you need to post the location of your every meal, I think you might have a problem with the Internet. Step away from the Blackberry! If you think the world needs to follow your Fido, you may need a psychiatrist. But if you actually read twitter posts from a dog, cat or snake, I think Medicaid should probably be paying for your meds. And yes, it will be Medicaid, because you clearly do not have a job!

One in Ten Dogs Has an Online Profile?
One in ten pets in the UK has a social networking profile on Facebook, Twitter or YouTube.  Really?  A profile?  

Is Google's New "Facebook Competitor" a Type of Internet Cancer?
Google+ is the new competitor for Facebook, and it's already the fastest-growing Internet social network ever, having reached 10 million users in just two weeks.  Two weeks!

God Makes Swarms of Many Types of Creatures:
All kinds of animals swarm:  bees, fish, ants, locust, birds.  Why, you ask?  Yep, I have an article about that.

Man Makes Swarms of Robots:
In the current issue of Guernica, Barbara Ehrenreich notes:  "When American forces invaded Iraq in 2003, no robots accompanied them; by 2008, there were 12,000 participating in the war. Only a handful of drones were used in the initial invasion; today, the U.S. military has an inventory of more than 7,000, ranging from the familiar Predator to tiny Ravens and Wasps used to transmit video images of events on the ground. Far stranger fighting machines are in the works, like swarms of lethal ‘cyborg insects’ that could potentially replace human infantry."

Barry Levinson Really Knows How to Tell a Story:
Read this one. I'm thinking this guy could make really good movies if he just put his mind to it.

Keshia Knight Pulliam:
"Little Rudy" from The Cosby Show, is now 32?  When did that happen?  In my mind, she's still about 5 or maybe 12.  She's no older than 18, for sure.

I Have to Stop Snorting the White Powder:
Apparently salt is very addictive.

Freedom of Religion is Basic!
Good news for all my Pastafarian friends who believe in the Great Spaghetti Monster.  It now appears that wearing a colander on your head is to be treated as an expression of religious faith in Austria. The long, dark nights of oppression are over.  Parmesan for everyone!  Who would ever think that the country that gave us Adolph Hitler would today be a beacon of rational thought and religious tolerance?  Someone please tell the French!

Not One More Winter in the Tipi, Honey:
When people live off the grid, the romance of building your own house out of old wine bottles often hits the hard rocks of reality, and illusions are shattered as quickly as the glass. Read more about the phenomenon in an excellent post on The Last Word on Nothing blog.

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3 comments:

Anton said...

The Giant Hogweed is really not all that easy to get burned from. We used to have them in our backyard. I made a lance out of a dried one as a kid. Heck even tried to smoke one like a cigar haha. That really burned lol.
I also have on thats been turned into a didgeridoo.

OFcourse the juice is not very nice, but its not when you touch them, you have to really try to get to the juice.

Easy way to get rid of them: sheep love them.

anissa_roy said...

Hey Pat, as always your coffee comes with food for thought. I feel, however, that I have to comment on dogs with Facebook profiles.

Yes, my four dogs have Facebook profiles. No, I don't really update them unless I feel like using them to tell a funny story for my friends' amusement. They're mostly on there so people who don't really know me very well will have a look at the list of family and see that I'm engaged to a woman and have four dogs listed as kids, thus preventing them from asking me when I'm gonna settle down, get married, and have babies.

Besides, it's a good excuse to post more dog pictures.

Viatecio said...

The article about the salt was quite interesting. Although I prefer salt licks and have almost nothing when it comes to a sweet tooth, I do try to keep things moderate just for health's sake.

But don't get between me and a bowl of stove-top popcorn that's been baptized in salt, which is a weekly requirement for my brain--kind of like that one hit that keeps me going. Between the two of us, my brother and I can polish off a LOT of it...and still wake up looking like normal people, not prunes. It would be interesting to measure just how much salt we put on, but it's probably something I'd regret knowing.