Friday, July 16, 2010

Apocalypse Now! D.C. Has an Earthquake

I was answering email at 5 a.m. when it struck:

The D.C. area and parts of Maryland have been shaken by a minor earthquake early this morning. The quake hit at 5:04 a.m. EDT and had a magnitude of 3.6.

Minor? Everyone in the house woke up!

I checked the boiler (it was fine as it's not on this time of year), and looked for a downed tree in the backyard.


Which could only mean one thing (always said before I name three possibilities): 1) a plane hand slammed into the ground; 2) terrorists had hit, or; 3) a nearby house had blown up.

Nothing on the news.

Now they say it's just a small earthquake. Or "the biggest one ever" in this area, if you prefer.

Washington, D.C. is not prepared for earthquakes.

We have been waiting for 50 years for thermonuclear warfare and germ warfare, of course, and we are not prepared for that either. Except for the people in the advanced Yoga classes. I am told they really can tuck themselves under and kiss their own ass goodbye. I will have to be content kissing somebody else's ass, a job I have prepared for my whole life.

All I know is that when the (sh)it happens, the only way to get out of here will be by bicycle or boat -- the roads will be gridlock

We live a quarter mile from a bike path that goes out to Purcellville, VA, and about half a mile from one that goes out to Cumberland, MD. The family will bike out. I will take the dogs in the canoe in the backyard, and the dogs and I will go down river to the Chesapeake, and from there we will paddle to Scotland.

As you can see I have it all planned out.


HTTrainer said...

. . . and FEMA?

FrogDogz said...

We just had one, as well - in fact, my hazy knowledge of all things geological says it might be something to do with the same tectonic plates, or some goddman voodoo junk like that.

Southern Ontario isn't prepared for earthquakes, either, but we also weren't prepared for the tornado we got lost summer, so sucks to be us, apparently.

My escape plan scenarios usually involve the zombie apocalypse.

Anton said...

Amsterdam welcomes you and yer canoe ;)

Seahorse said...

About the time the Big One was hitting, I jumped out of bed, as I thought I felt an ant walking beneath the bed covers. Flipped the light on, pulled back covers, cat and hubby slept on, and I found no intruder. I still don't know if I felt it down here on The Bay, but if so, it felt like an ant!

Seahorse ;)

Jessika said...

Lol!! Thanks! I needed a laugh this morning.

Gina said...

California dogs don't even wake up:

Luisa said...

I LOL'ed.

And dude, you forgot the most important thing to do when an earthquake hits: you're supposed to run outside and film the water sloshing out of your swimming pool. Or stuff shaking and swaying. Duck, cover and YouTube!

Fun photo: Disneyland evacuating after the 7.2 in Baja.

Mongoose said...

Just remember - if you hear banjos, paddle for your life!

seeker said...

This is it, 2012. Volcanos in Iceland, Oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico, earth quakes all over the place. Story of my life, I retire in 2013. I've been working since I was 18 years old and the world is coming to an end just before I retire. It's not fair.

Selfish Debi in Texas

Jonathan Setter said...

In this post you sound like Allie Fox in "The Mosquito Coast" by Paul Theroux. You'd make it out alive though, Allie didn't have terriers.