Saturday, May 16, 2015

Leveraging Kennel Club Heuristics Going Forward

Nothing is so funny as an incompetent who wraps him or herself in jargon and babble in order to claim authority no one in their right mind would give them.

The world of "management consultants" is riddled with this charade and the butt of many jokes as a consequence.

I bring this up because a self-styled management expert whose own expertise in dogs can be properly summarized as "consumer failure" has taken it upon herself to explain to the world that problems associated with canine health are broad, without clear or specific cause, and that it's really consumers who are at fault.

What makes this so funny is that this is coming from a woman who bought a working dog she never intended to work, who bought a pedigree dog for the preening pretension of the papers that came with it, and whose canine acquisition was soon enough dead because she knew nothing about dogs or dog breeding, and was too arrogant to ask or learn.

The memo below is a parody, but only in the sense that I have "turned it up to 11." This really is this person's core message and this really is the world she comes from.

To:          All Stakeholders
From:     Director of Very Deep Thinking
Subject:  Leveraging Kennel Club Heuristics

Going forward, all stakeholders will be tasked to proactively think outside the box and produce a synergistic vision for leveraging Kennel Club heuristics. Our organizing principle is that all parties are implicated in the low quality of both performance and health-based metrics, and so no hierarchy of change players need be established and, in fact, it is important that it not be established in order to maximum the buy-in for minimal change.

This is a ground-breaking chance to get behind this concept 120% and to idea-shower strategies for leveraging our Very Deep Think. We want to incentivize dynamic solutions in order to evolve a set of win-win deliverables to add value to this high-value debate over putative canine imperfections.

We need to recognize that some will continue to engage in "blame game" framing, which is why we need to be proactive and self-actualizing in order to pick the low-hanging fruit and have values-based deliverables based on disappearing baseline metrics which we will operationalize in such a way as to show progress based on non-linear motion. 
I trust we stand united behind this values-based approach that recognizes that a demonstrated core in-competency in buying, training, working, and breeding dogs is a prerequisite for leadership at this critical time, and that science-based thinking will likely lead to an endgame which might produce detrimental results that will supercycle us into change which would be anathema to the economic and political empowerment of the stakeholder collective.

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