Friday, August 14, 2009

Pit Bull Enthusiast Michael Vick Signs With Philly

Pit Bull enthusiast Michael Vick has signed on with the Philadelphia Eagles for a two-year stint.

Pit Bulls owners are no doubt thrilled, as a celebrity endorsement of their breed can only help popularize the dog in a state where the chief problem has always been too much law enforcement against commercial dog breeders.

"This is terrific for the Amish" said a conservative web site editor writing about a state he does not live in, and dogs he has not seen, who are being raised by people he does not know.

"No doubt this will stimulate the economy of Bucks County. We're already seeing plywood fly off the shelf in expectation of more home pit-fighting constructions.

"Because Michael Vick is a millionaire, we know he will never do anything to harm or abuse animals. Money naturally breeds compassion, common sense, and conservative credentials.

"The best news, of course, is that the people of Philadelphia finally have someone to emulate in the world of dogs other than those fascists at the Philadelphia SPCA who seem far more interested in providing health care to those Murder Hollow Basset Hounds than they are in attending the anti-Obama health care rally being organized by Blue Cross Blue Shield.

"Where are their priorities? Don't they know that 'The essential American soul is hard, isolate, stoic, and a killer. It has never yet melted?' Don't you know that Michael Vick is the model, not the Philadelphia SPCA?"



Lily Strange said...

I'm not even a football fan and I'm glad the Broncos didn't pick this creep to come and live in my city. Maybe they ought to throw him in the ring with an angry pit bull.

Anonymous said...

That was good.

Jonathan said...

That photo of the dogs face. It tears me apart. There is nothing tough or macho about it. People who fight dogs for thrills are cowards. Even worse than cowards. vermin. In fact, critters are better than these people. That photo is enough to break my sense of civility. A sad day for Philadelphia.

Connemara said...

I watched an interview with him yesterday. I get the feeling he is more sorry for getting caught and for what trouble it has brought his way. ...Than for what he actually did to the dogs.

He killed many of them with his own hands. Drowned them, electrocuted them, straggled them. How can he suddenly be rehabilitated? He can't. Disgusting.