Sunday, November 04, 2007

Junk Reporting on Junk Science

If you want to sell newspapers, just put out a headline saying something causes cancer.

Never mind that it's a claim, based on a single example -- a French Bulldog in Canada, and that its owners had to go all the way to Italy (talk about forum shopping!) to find someone who would assert a (perhaps) causal relationship based on no evidence what so ever!

Never mind all the controlled studies on the other side showing microchips to be safe.

Never mind that in the real world, even after millions of years of real-world use in cats and dogs (millions of dogs and cats over more than 15 years), this "phenomenon" has never been reported before.

"My God, man, what does science have to do with it? There are newspapers to be sold!"

And so it is with some amusement that I read the latest breathless report from the Associated Press about microchips. It seems that someone, somewhere, says they may have caused a few cases of cancer in mice. Oh the horror! Never mind that it's not the the microchip itself that causes some very small elevation in cancer risk, but the tissue inflammation surrounding some implants.

And never mind that ANY implant or injection (yes, yes, even a vaccine) increases cancer risk some miniscule amount undetectable in the real world (unlike, say, the number of lost or unrecovered pets, or the number of animals that die every year if they are not vaccinated).

And never mind that implanting a microchip in a mouse is about equal to implanting two large cell phones in my arm.

"Hey, no fair! You've been reading the science. And you're using rational thought! We're not trying to make sense, here, we're tying to make headlines."

Oops. Sorry. My bad.

"Besides, didn't you see that there is political intrigue involved? Former HHS Secretary Tommy Thompson approved the microchip technology and later joined the board of the company that makes one of the more common brands?"

Uhhhh . . . you're kidding right? You think the folks at the Food and Drug Administration run their reviews and approvals past the Secretary of HHS on a daily basis?

And of all items out there that an official might take a kickback for, you think it would be a low-cost low-volume thing like a microchip for cats and dogs, rather than a $4 billion-a year-blockbuster drug? Oh, that's rich!

Please don't tell me it's new information that corporations often invite former cabinet officials and governors to join their boards of directors? Think it through, eh? Let's not be led (once more) to Panic Street by junk reporting on junk science. Get a grip people!

But of course, some people are easily concerned about things they do not understand, while ignoring the dangers of the obvious. Did you ever notice how many people drive too fast, eat too much food, drink too much alcohol, don't exercise at all, don't read the instructions before starting a chainsaw, and fail to wear protective eye wear while operating power tools? Yet, these same people can be made to hyperventilate about a nuclear power reactor located some miles away, even as they live in a rock house and work in a concrete building that exposes them to more radiation in a month than they would get in a year if they lived in a wood-frame house located across the street from this same nuclear power plant?

These people sure are gullible. With too little information at hand, these folks are too easily made to jump through hoops over some contrived crisis. This is particularly frustrating to me because I know, for a fact, that there are real things to worry about.

You want something to worry about? Here's one: Dihydrogen monoxide. It turns out that most of our foods contain dihydrogen monoxide and that DHMO is a cancer-causing agent! In fact, DHMO has been found to have a role in:
  • Hodgkin's Lymphoma
  • Ewing's Tumor
  • Chondrosarcoma
  • Fibrosarcoma
  • Multiple myeloma
  • Colorectal cancer
  • Leukemia
  • Basal cell carcinoma
  • Squamous cell carcinoma
  • Malignant melanoma.

DHMO has also been implicated in global warming, acid rain, and can even be found in astounding amounts in our Arctic and Antarctic ice caps.

Worried about microchips? Not me! I'm worried about vast quantities of cancer-causing dihydrogen monoxide (DHMO) contaminating America's environment and poisoning our bodies.

This is serious stuff, but instead of dealing with it, our politicians are being paid with your tax dollars, to turn a blind eye as companies stock it on our grocery shelves and pump it in (often leaking) pipes across our great nation.

In fact, I will bet my mortgage that you have dihydrogen monoxide in your house right now! In fact, dihydrogen monoxide is found in nearly every can and bag of dog food you are now feeding your pets!

Dihydrogen monoxide is serious stuff. It it is colorless, odorless, and tasteless. It is used as both an industrial coolant and solvent, and it is used in almost all nuclear power plants and chemical plants in this country.

How toxic is this stuff? This stuff corrodes metal. It is so toxic that, in a very controversial move, the U.S. Government is now using the threat of exposure to it as a way to "aggressively interrogate" possible terrorist prisoners overseas.

Yet, in this country, dihydrogen monoxide remains a common ingredient in junk foods we feed our kids and pet foods we feed our cats and dogs!

Yet, this same toxin is also the principle ingredient in most insecticides!

This is serious stuff, and THIS is something to be worried about! Visit the web site of the U.S. Environmental Assessment Center at to find out the truth about Dihydrogen Monoxide. Please, get informed now, while it's still possible to save yourself, your loved ones, your dogs, your cats, and all your other pets.




John Carlson said...

Great post Patrick. I know the stuff sometimes makes me sick just being near it when it is an agitated state.

kabbage said...

I love that DHMO site, although I was a little (okay, a lot) disappointed in a few of my siblings who really were worried by it.

Gina Spadafori said...

By "the stuff" do you mean what often passes for scient reporting? :) Makes me sick, too, in its agitated state.

Lisa B. said...

This brings to mind the Greenies "scare" a few years ago, when reports became widespread that the treats were forming intestinal blockages that killed dogs. Turns out it was just a few cases, and the dogs were usually really old, already sick or had eaten Greenies that were far too big for them. Now I'm hearing that the whole "scare" happened after a mega-corporation (Procter and Gamble, maybe--I don't recall exactly which one) had tried to buy the Greenies company but had been rebuffed by the owners. Makes me go hmmm ...

Christopher said...

I got a little DHMO in my eye this morning and had to flush it out for over 10 minutes. To my dismay, the leading cleansing solution also contained DHMO with added salts! Talk about squirting salt in an open wound, jeeez. The greed of corporate America is sickening.

My neighbor is also very DHMO aware. She feeds her dogs and cats a raw only diet because it's natural and that's the way it's done with wolves. Sadly, she keeps losing her cats to a mysterious wasting disease because she says that cats are naturally repulsed by DHMO in the wild and thus she only feeds them DHMO free foods and liquids. I'm sure when the cause of their demise is found out (no doubt a red China plot) there will be another nation wide recall.

I also read that the Catholic Church has been paid off by the DHMO lobby (ADM) to use DHMO products in their rituals. Translations of islamo-fascist websites also reveal that suicide bombers also douse themselves with pure DHMO right before their attacks.

My theory is that DHMO is involved with Satan worshiping cults and/or the illuminati. On my recent trip to Spain I happened to find the only statue erected to Satan, and behold the demons at the base of the statue were spewing forth DHMO!

And how can you forget that more wars have been fought over DHMO than oil or land combined! Colorado is usually thought of as a once-but-not-future mining state and the environmental lobby has closed down most of the mines because trace toxins like arsenic have been found mingling with large quantities of DHMO in the mine tailings. Some mines are literally flooded with heavy metal tainted DHMO.

That hasn’t stopped California, with its huge dependence on a steady DHMO supply for its agribusiness and industrial-military complex from pressuring congress to allow California a larger and larger stake of DHMO supplies in Colorado. Colorado’s very own Gail Norton sold us out to California, allowing Californians to profit from DHMO stolen from Colorado while leaving Colorado to clean up the mess it leaves on the environment here. And it has wreaked havoc on the environment here. Colorado hasn’t built any new containment structures to prevent the wanton dispersal of DHMO, and a DHMO leak in the mid 70s ruined the Big Thomson Valley’s ecology and killed over 140 people in mere hours. The deal is so ridiculous that if California can’t get enough DHMO out of Colorado, we have to pay them for every ounce above and beyond their quota that they don’t receive.

It’s also worth noting that it was DHMO that was the true culprit behind so many deaths following hurricane Katrina. Not only was DHMO present in all the contaminated sewage that was let loose when the levees broke, but even now, mold and mildew that is not only resistant to DHMO but thrive on it are continuing to add to the medical costs and hinder rehabilitation efforts.

We can look back with humor and disgust at the tobacco ads of the last century where doctors proclaimed the health benefits of smoking. Why is there not more outrage and protest that today the next generation of paid off quack doctors are now on TV claiming that most of the American public are suffering from DHMO deficiencies and pitching diet products that compete for the purest and most readily absorbed DHMO in liquid form! In Europe most restaurants even offer sparkling bottled DHMO for the sophisticated connoisseur!