Thursday, March 14, 2024

Transvestite Terriers

Crufts has propelled a cute little dog forward, calling it a “Jack Russell,” which they tell us — straight faced — was “developed” in Australia, a country the Reverend John Russell never lived or even visited.  

And the dog’s purpose?  Why to be a show dog!

Right.  Crufts — the dog show named after a man that never owned a dog (yes, really), is now telling us what Jack Russells are, and where they came from.

What did we expect?  

What else is there?  

Just this: The Kennel Club’s ersatz “Jack Russell” is different from the “Parson Russell Terrier” which was created whole cloth in the 2000s by the Kennel Club for the dog show trade, and it is distinct from the “Russell Terrier” which was created by the FCI at about the same time for the same purpose.

How to sort it all out?

I think simplicity is best. 

In my opinion, there are only two types of terriers in the world: those that work, and those that don't. 

The mostly white ones that work are called Jack Russell Terriers, and they are called that out of respect for the working standard that the Reverend John Russell himself honored throughout his life. Most of these mostly white-bodied working terriers are not registered, but neither were any of the Reverend's own dogs.  Short legs or long, prick ears or folded, it does not matter.  The only standard is that of a naturally-dug den pipe, and the only judge that matters has four feet and teeth, and is in that den pipe!

What are we to make of the Kennel Club dogs? 

Simple: None of them are Jack Russell terriers.

They are simply white terriers being combed out, powdered, and fussed over by people chasing ribbons.

They are transvestite terriers with fake names and invented history:  George Smathers of Yonkers dressed as Dolly Parton and calling himself “Trixie Buffey of the Charleston Buffey’s”.

Oh, I am slandering transvestites now, am I?  

Am I?  Well good then. I guess the point is made and apologies to all the cross-dressers and transgenders if they find the comparison a bit harsh.

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