Sunday, October 23, 2022

Big Wheel Murder Machine

I went out today to learn how to ride one these things. 

My observations as I breathe through my bruises. 

▪️There’s a reason they were only ridden for about 20 years; these bikes do not do well going up the slightest hill, and they want to pitch you on your head going up hill or down. They’re more than a little malevolent on a flat surface as well. 
▪️There are no brakes. You want to stop? Jump off the back. Not kidding.
▪️The bikes are specific — there is no adjusting the seat or handlebars for size. On the 50” bike that fits me, my head is about 7.5 feet in the air.
▪️The bike has inherent steering problems due to physics. The centrifugal force of the huge wheel means it’s hard to steer; a reality exacerbated by the very wide turning radius due to the fact that the wheel is in opposition to your legs.
▪️Because this is a direct drive machine — no chain, and the pedal cranks are fixed directly to the axle of the 50” wheel — everytime you push a pedal left or right, it pulls the bike in that direction too.  Wobble is a default.
▪️I am convinced that when these bicycles wake up in the morning, they take a blood oath to kill their riders.
▪️There’s a reason this cyco-killer was soon replaced with a more modern-looking machine that was sold to an eager public as a “safety bicycle.”

1 comment:

Mark Farrell-Churchill said...

"Cyco killer" made my day.