Coffee and Provocation

.

JRTCA Nationals is October 28-30
The Jack Russell Terrier Association of America's National Trial is October 28-30 in Arendtsville, Pennsylvania, not too far from where I hunt in Maryland. This is the only "show" I go to (not for the show part), but I did not make it last year due to a conference conflict. I should be there this year for one day.  The JRTCA, which is the largest Jack Russell registry in the world, sells locators, fox nets, and how-to-work your terrier literature, works tirelessly to "unsell" Jack Russells to casual buyers, and stresses that this breed is a true hunting dog. Take a few minutes to click through the JRTCA web site; I think you will be impressed!

Ducks Unlimited Has a Photo Contest for Retrievers:
The verbiage for the contest starts off:  "Every waterfowl hunt has memorable moments, especially when hunting with a retriever."  Hunt?  Retrieve?  Oh. My. God.  These people think retriever owners are supposed to hunt and that the dogs are supposed to retrieve.  Off leash?  In cold water?  And there will be people with guns present when those pictures of dogs are being taken?  That's dangerous!  And the prize being offered is an item worth $1,000 from Winchester ammunition?  Who needs a gun?  And what's all this about "hunting memories"?  Don't they know that retrievers are supposed to generate articles about the color of Lord Tweedmouth's dogs, and not "hunting memories"?  Sheesh!  Unbelievable.  From what I can tell the Ducks Unlimited web site does not have a single article about Lord Tweedmouth.  How odd that they missed all the important stuff!

Theory Meets Fact Like the Titanic Meets the Ice:
Every once in a while I read someone's blog post and I say, "that can't be right," but it's rarely Heather Houlahan, who writes the excellent Raised By Wolves blog.  So imagine my surprise when I read her blog post this morning in which she noted that someone had written the "frakking absurd claim from a throne of authority that puppies of eight weeks of age ought to be 'error-free' housebroken, and trained to sit, down, and roll over..."   Someone wrote that?  Fools!  I do not believe anyone could be that stupid.  And so what did I do?  I did the same thing you should do now -- go to the provided link.  The "authority" in question in none other than Ian Dunbar, whose claim to fame is to take research done by others about puppy socialization and then use it to sell "puppy socialization" camps and play groups even though he himself has never so much as raised a single litter of pups according to Heather.  In recent years, his other claim to fame has been seething anger that other dog trainers have gotten more press than he has (notably Cesar Millan).  With some irony, I would note that Millan simply ignored Dunbar's attacks and instead he calmly and confidently reached out and shook Dunbar's hand, going so far as to positively profile Dunbar who seemed genuinely confused by Millan's response.  All good, pretty humorous, and let's move on.  So what am I to make of this Dunbar column?  Bad editing? Too much alcohol?  A ghost writer?  Someone has hacked the blog?   Dunbar is claiming an eight-week old puppy should have flawless sits and never-make-a-mistake bowel and bladder control.  Yes, read that again.  He does indeed say that.   So what do I have to say about that?  Well I am going to take a page from Cesar Millan and ignore Dunbar's lunatic statements, and instead suggest that you go read Heather Houlahan's blog about her "Pupdorf School" for dogs.  There you have it:  Less nonsense and more common sense; more experience and less theory; less alcohol and more sobriety. 

"The Birds are Weaponizing the Bird Flu":
Contagion looks like a movie I might like despite the fact that Gwyneth Paltrow is in it.  The premise of the movie is that the next major pandemic will be a zoonotic outbreak and will come from Asia where birds, pigs, humans and other wildlife are in close contact with a lot of antibiotic-laden farmed fish. Apparently the experts at the CDC, who worked closely with the movie's producers, agree with me that this is a very likely scenario for a pandemic (Hey, I get it right once in a while!).  Of course, the next pandemic could come another way: out of a laboratory, and it might not be so bad if it's the right one.  Imagine a laboratory-created viral immuno-contraception plague in which no humans die but human population crashes 90 percent over 80 years.  Think of how good that would be for wildlife.  And with no human deaths from this plague, and computers to store and sort all the human knowledge we now have, what would be the down side?  Not much!  Jobs for all, food for all, houses for all, and energy for all.  Not too mention cleaner water, cleaner air, and a return to the Garden of Eden.

This Taxidermist Knows How to Market:
With video goodness.  But since you asked, NO, he does not taxidermy pets! 

Stream, Run, or Branch?
If you had a small flow of water running down the hill behind your house, what do you call it?  Would you call it a stream?  A creek?  A run?  A wash?  A slough?  A branch?  A fork?  A brook?  A kill?  Check out this American language map for small waters.  By the way, in Scotland, North East England, and some parts of Ireland and New Zealand, they would call it a Burn, the putative origin of my last name.

A Self-Propelled Solar-Powered Robotic Chicken Coop:
The future is going to be terrific, and for anyone who has a doubt, check out this self-propelled solar-powered robotic chicken coop which fertilizes your yard while the chickens mow the lawn.  And yes, the fence is also charged to keep out fox, raccoons and possum.  American genius at work. 

A Big Cat in Michigan:
Another big cat caught on camera in the Midwest, this time one with an ear tag and radio collar, which suggests it's migrated in from somewhere out in the Far West.  I am betting it's another young male wandering out of the Black Hills of South Dakota, but we'll see....

Unselling Religion:
I love the idea of "unselling" things.  We do it all the time; smoking, speeding, and pollution are three examples.  Now, how about unselling religion?

The Tea Party in Three Words
Lie, Die, Cry.  With video goodness at the links.

A Fat Clown Walks Into White Castle:
How fat was he?  He was so fat he could not fit comfortably into a booth at a place that sells greasy hamburgers by the bag.  And what did he do?  Did he leave?  Did he take a hint from God and order a salad with dressing on the side?  Silly.  He sued under the Americans With Disabilities Act.  Now, to be clear, he sued because he's fat, not because he's retarded, an idiot, brain damaged a sniveling cash- and fame-whore.

Illiterates, Ignorants and Inbreds Standing for Breed Purity!
A small "attack phalanx" trying to stop a BBC update of Pedigree Dogs Exposed has drafted an online petition entitled .... wait for it....Not all show folk are puppy farmers! Stop hitting us with a dirty brush!  It has 155 members (it's not clear to me that its "members" even know they are members) and zero dollars, and not one of its members seems to be educated enough to correct the "About" section of the petition in order to eliminate the run-on sentences, misspellings, capitalization errors, and errors in logic and presentation.  What a farce.  Of course not ALL show folks are puppy farmers.  I know one show fellow in Devon that's not, and I am sure there are two or three others over there that are fine....