Lose Weight With Tape Worms!

For mere $2,399 dollars, a clinic in Mexico will inflict you with human hookworms.

Why would you want to do that? According to the web site "Worm Therapy," human hookworms "based on theory" might help alleviate any or all of the following conditions:

Crohn's Disease, Ulcerative Colitis, Asthma, Allergies, Coeliac disease, Eczema,Multiple Sclerosis, and Psoriasis. There are theoretical reasons to believe that Atherosclerosis, Depression, Grave's disease, Irritable bowel syndrome, Fibromyalgia, Hashimoto's thyroiditis, Sjorgen's syndrome, Lupus, Migraine, Non-Ulcer Dyspepsia, Rheumatoid Arthritis, Psoriasic Arthritis and Diabetes type I.

How's that work? Apparently the idea is that your body will become so pre-ocuppied with its life-and-death battle with human hookworm, that your immune system will no longer give a damn about any of the other problems named above.

Right.

And if you shoot yourself in the ear with a .22, you will no longer worry too much about your hammer toe. Fine medical thinking there!

The "Worm Solutions web site helpfully notes that:

Hookworm ova are collected from a known source tested for Hepatitis and HIV on the day of collection by an independent laboratory. The collected ova are washed in an anti-microbial agent, then incubated to their infectious stage in soil derived growth medium. The infectious larva (L3) are treated with an anti-microbial agent and put into a buffer solution.

The L3 are placed on the skin where they begin their transpulmonary migration to the intestinal tract. In two to three weeks the worms will undergo their final molt and reside in the intestinal tract. Once in the intestinal tract the worms will interact with the intestinal mucosa and modulate the immune system.

Excellent! And what are the side-effects, if any?

Light hookworm infection is often asymptomatic or has mild-to-moderate complaints. The most common reactions are a pruritic papulovesicular rash may develop at the site of larval penetration (ground itch) and fatigue. Migration larvae though the lungs occasionally causes a cough. Löffler's pneumonia, with cough, wheezing and sometimes hemoptysis can occur in a very heavy infection. During the acute phase, adult worms in the intestine may cause colicky epigastric pain, night sweats, fever, anorexia, flatulence, diarrhea and weight loss or weight gain. Eosiniophilic enteritis is also common. A low-grade eosinophilia is often present. There have been reported cases of reactive arthritis that resolved with treatment. Chronic infection can lead to iron deficiency anemia and hypoproteinemia, causing pallor, dyspnea, weakness, tachycardia, lassitude and peripheral edema. In very heavy infection chronic blood loss may lead to severe anemia, growth retardation, heart failure and anasarca.

Now, of course, not everyone can afford a good dose of Human Hookworm. Times are tough all over. The good folks at "Worm Therapy" understand, and they have a special deal for you: Beef Tapeworm for only $1,299! A real bargain!!

And here's the best part: Beef tape worms will help you lose weight.

And what are the side effects of beef tape worms, other than a well-tuned rock-star body?

Most individuals are either asymptomatic or have mild-to-moderate complaints. Common symptoms include loss of appetite or feeling of fullness, increased appetite, abdominal pain, weakness, headache, nausea, constipation, diarrhea, vomiting and spontaneous emergence of proglottids from the anal sphincter. A mild eosinophilia of 5-15% may occur. There are rare reports of intestinal perforation in T. saginata infection. People with severely weakened immune systems (due to disease or drugs like cancer chemotherapy and organ transplant immunosuppressants) may develop serious infections or bacteria in the blood from taking T. saginata. Therefore, T. saginata should be avoided in such individuals. People with intestinal damage or recent bowel surgery should avoid taking T. saginata. When T. saginata becomes sexually mature the gravid proglottids will break off and migrate out the digestive tract. These proglottids are motile and can lodge in the common bile duct, pancreatic duct or the appendix. Blockage of any can result in intense abdominal pain and is life threatening. Intestinal obstruction is a rare complication. There is a report of T. saginata and a case of reactive arthritis that resolved with treatment.

Can't wait to get yours? See the "Buy Now! button on this page.

Still have doubts? Check out the video on this page.
.