Putin dies and goes to hell. Due to good behavior, he's allowed a few days' vacation in Moscow. He orders a vodka in a bar and asks the bartender: "Does the Crimea actually belong to us?" Barkeeper: "Belongs to us." Putin: "And the Donbass? And Kyiv? Does that belong to us too?" Barkeeper: "Yes, it all belongs to us." Putin: "Perfect." Barkeeper: "That'll be 7 euros."
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