My Vast Land Holdings

IT’S UNSEEMLY TO BRAG, but I own everything in this picture.

This land and waterway is taken care of me by a crack team of contractors and managers and, by a special arrangement I have, based on birthright and over a hundred years of law, I never see a bill.

Of course, this is only a small slice of my land holdings.

Under a similar arrangement, I own over 475 million acres of land stretching from Alaska and Hawaii to Florida and the Mexican border, from the Pacific to the Atlantic.

It’s a lot.

I have told my grandson about this land, but he’s just 18 months old and cannot quite comprehend the expanse, but I think he will in time.

He needs to understand this land, because like all great fortunes, it comes with responsibilities.

I myself went to war for a number of years to keep out predatory loggers and roadbuilders who thought they had rights to this land that they did not.

It was a long battle, but we won protection for 58 million acres.

My grandson will have to patrol these same fence lines after I am gone. Evil is cunning and powerful, but above all it is patient. What it took 400 years to make, can be gone in 20 minutes. This land is my land. It is my family’s land. I own it, and my children and grandchildren have been told to never sell it or give it away.

I visited my Hawaiian land holdings earlier this year, and things seemed fine. I will be visiting my bison, elk, and wolf holdings in early October.

I like doing surprise inspections as it keeps the staff on their toes. In truth, I am rarely disappointed, and often quite surprised.

For instance, the canal path you see here is being improved with better drainage and a new crushed powdered stone substrate. They’ve put in about 290 miles of that so far, and have another 50 or 60 miles left to go. When I enquired how much this was going to cost me, the nice fellow in the truck (who had no idea who I was) smiled and said, “not a thing… no additional charge… this one is on the house.”

I thanked him, of course. True royalty understands that we only govern this land with the consent of the peasants and the serfs, and that gamekeepers and their heavy-booted assistants are the backbone of the estate.

Carry on good stewards. You are doing a fine job, and the Wee Wolves approve.