White Folks Need an E-Collar

Training is training.

I’m not too concerned about white people fragility. Even the suburban housewives and really dumb sister-fuckers are tougher than they look.

Think of them as dogs that need a certain amount of “Edison Medicine” with an e-collar in order to correct very dangerous and socially destructive, but long-standing and self-rewarding behavior.

You want to bust a trashcan-diving and deer-chasing pit bull that’s had free reign to do whatever it wants for seven years?

Be prepared to crank up the collar, and know that you are going to have to be 100 percent consistent.

Expect a lot of confusion and dramatic howling the first 20 times you give a real correction. Put a long line on that dumb son of a bitch so you can gently pull him in the right direction after he gets zapped for doing what’s been uncorrected for so long. Keep the dog hungry and toss a cookie every once in a while when it walks away from enticements to bad behavior. Fade off the rewards, but never fade off the punishment for doing wrong. In time, the punishment may be little more than a very small tap — a reminder of an old punishment and a new way of doing business. But right now? You’re probably going to have to put a real sting in that correction.

Let’s be clear: this is not puppy training for uncoded tricks. This is putting a quick stop to long-standing, dangerous, and socially destructive self-rewarding behavior. You’re not changing that self-rewarding, old-dog, “kill the cat” bullshit with cookies and toy tugs alone.

Sure you can shoot the dog, but I’m an old softy and I say let’s try discomfort before death. Maybe if racist white people feel the heat, they’ll see the light.

And remember: If it’s not working yet, just increase the voltage.

Be consist.

Don’t talk a lot — don’t argue.

An electric fence does not explain — it teaches by well-timed and always consistent consequences.

You want to teach police to change the way they do business? Get rid of impunity, fire every cop that turns off a body camera, and make sure every police abuse settlement comes out of the department pension fund.

You want to teach politicians? Don’t wait for an election: picket their house and their office now, and don’t stop.

Film every racist interaction, and post that shit online. Name and shame them. Get people fired.

We’re changing long-standing, dangerous, and socially destructive self-rewarding behavior here. Yes, it’s going to be painful and scary and uncomfortable to white people set in their ways. That’s the point. That’s how change works.

As for monuments to racists, slavers, and secessionists, pull them all down. Don’t wait for permission — get a tow truck and some thermite and get it done. Swing a hammer and reclaim the space.

Racists mark their territory with their shit and piss, same as dogs and street gangs. Civilization needs to reclaim that space — including teaching real history in our schools — and scrubbing out the old stink of a wannabe-dominant is part of the job. You use a power-washer to get rid of graffiti. You use a tow truck winch, sledge hammers, and thermite to get rid of 30-foot statues of Robert E. Lee and Nathan Bedford Forest.

Do you need more than a very gentle tap to train a green dog or puppy? 

Nope. 

But angry, middle-aged white men fondling guns and burning books are not puppies or green dogs -- they are feral pit bulls that have been rewarded with flesh, blood, and position from 200 years of sheep-worrying. Crank up the voltage, be consistent, and don't think twice or offer up an apology.  The democracy you save may be your own.