If You Feel Attacked, Don't Come Back

From Gabrielle Blair @designmom and at DesignMom.com. 

This was originally a Twitter thread. I did not write this (Gabrielle Blair did), but I could not agree more. 

The other day I saw a tweet where a person described that when they find out someone they know personally supports Trump, they lose all respect for them instantly. 

I liked the tweet and retweeted it, but stopped short of sharing it on Instagram. 

Why? I suppose it’s because, like the author of the tweet, I also know Trump supporters in real life. 

They already know I think Trump is gross, and they know that I frequently criticize Trump supporters as a group. But I’ve hesitated to tell them directly that I’ve lost respect for them individually. 

But I woke up this morning, read reports of the final night of the Republican National Convention — an event where hundreds of federal employees broke many laws — grew deeply angry, and now my hesitation is gone. 

My instagram content is different than my Twitter content. On Twitter, I mostly retweet people. On Instagram, I share more personal stuff — like renovations, vacations, and updates about my family. I also highlight tweets and political opinions on Instagram, but it’s maybe 20% of my content there. 

A frequent DM (direct message) I receive on Instagram is some version of this: “I come here for design and to see your life in France. Stop posting political stuff.” 

 These DMs are, without exception, from Trump supporters, or people who claim to be independent, but will definitely vote for Trump and are ashamed to admit it. 

My response: I do not create content for you. It makes me sick to my stomach that you, a Trump supporter, ever read or watch or listen to anything I’ve created. This is true even if I know you in real life. 

I see what you are trying to do. You want me to treat you like a decent human being. But you are not behaving like a decent human being. 

 A decent person doesn’t align themself with people who are proudly racist and who insist America doesn’t have a racism problem. 

A decent person doesn’t align themself with people who believe viral right-wing stories on Facebook over trained journalists, who think Q is real, who think the pandemic is fake, who think the earth is flat.

A decent person doesn’t align themself with people who weep and faint over celebrity-child-trafficking-rings that don’t exist, but support the ICE family separations at the border that actually lead to child trafficking. 

A decent person knows what it feels like to do a job and not get paid, and recognizes that Trump is first and foremost a con-man, liar, and thief. 

A decent person knows and acknowledges that Trump only looks out for himself. A decent person knows Trump raped a 13-year-old, has read her description of the rape, has read all the other accounts of Trump sexually assaulting girls and women, and never forgets Trump is a rapist who has never had to face consequences for his assaults. 

I see you. Especially my fellow white women. You want to read what interesting people are reading, you want to see good movies, you want to know what the designers and artists are creating. But you don’t want anyone to know you are voting for Trump. You don’t like when people you follow talk politics. You say it’s because you want to “focus on the positive.” But really, it’s because it reminds you of your Trump shame. 

 You want to vote for Trump and experience no negative consequences. But that’s not an option. 

One of the consequences of your actions? I do not respect you. 

 How could I? How could I respect someone who hears about a Black man being shot by police 7 times in his back, while his kids watch, and their first thought is: “Well, we don’t know the whole story.” 

Another consequence of your actions? I have a deep desire to withhold my community and my creations from you. Instagram has data that could tell me exactly which of you support Trump. I wish they would give me that data. I would block every single one of you. 

My Instagram followers request access to my life daily. You’re voting for Trump and you want to know the source for my daughter’s dress? My answer is: No. 

You want to know the paint color we chose for the attic renovation? No. 

You want to participate in a parenting discussion on Design Mom? No. 

I want to shun you from my community. 

If gatherings were safely happening, I want you to be shunned from all events hosted by decent people. No wedding invitations. No conference tickets. No backyard barbecues. I want decent event hosts to send you a card, explaining you are not invited because you are a Trump supporter. I wish stores like Ikea and Target wouldn’t let you buy their products. I wish your internet provider (who for sure knows you’ll be voting for Trump), would cut you off as a customer. I want to see you shunned by every person and organization that doesn’t support Trump. No more access to their books, movies, products, music, events, artists & influencers — till you are left with nothing but Smashmouth concerts, and Ben Shapiro talking about his sex life. 

Some of you will tell me you have no choice; that you’re a single issue voter and that your single issue is abortion, so you can only vote for an anti-abortion candidate. And I will respond: The Republicans are making a fool of you. 

We all know Republicans talk big about being anti-abortion but their policies don’t reduce abortions. Republican policies increase things like teen pregnancy, which also increases abortions. The fact is: abortion numbers go down under the policies of Democrats. 

If you want to reduce abortion, the most effective, proven way to do so is to vote for Democrats. If the most important issue to you is reducing abortions, then the only choice you have is voting for Democrats up and down the ballot. 

Some of you will tell me you support Trump because of the stock market. Well, that is certainly something a selfish a**hole would do. A whopping 90% of Americans have no stake in the stock market. I’m one of them. 

 If you like the current trajectory of our economy; if you want existing and newly created wealth to continue to be concentrated in the top 10%; if you don’t think employers should have to provide a living wage; if you somehow think hoarding a billion dollars is ethical; if you don’t want to tax the rich; then I don’t make content for you. I create content and community for decent people. 

Do we agree on everything? No. We may debate the best way to educate kids. Or disagree on baby names, favorite books, or suburban vs. urban vs, country living. 

But I will not make space for you to debate the merits of white supremacy. 

You want respect, but your behavior and beliefs are not worthy of respect. You don’t want to be shamed or mocked for supporting Trump, but you align yourself with people who want to “make liberal snowflakes cry” and who mock anyone who wears a pandemic mask. Do you think I care about losing you as a follower? I do not. Not one bit. I will actively block you on Instagram if I know you’re a Trump supporter. You unfollowing me doesn’t hurt me in any way. I literally — in the true sense of the word — won’t notice you are gone. 

You can’t support Trump and also be a decent human being. 

You can’t support Trump and earn my respect. 

Want to be a decent person? Don’t want to worry about being shunned? You’re in luck! The solution is easy and free: Stop being a Trump supporter. Don’t vote for Trump.