Some folks are pushing to ban basic dog training tools under the theory that any discomfort to the dog is a price not worth paying to end problematic behavior.
With that in mind, I would like to make a modest proposal.
Because scalpels cut flesh and can cause discomfort and pain, I propose that all future surgeries be done with a spoon.
And because antibiotics and pain medications can cause nausea, these tools should be replaced with aromatherapy and homeopathy.
Death before discomfort, and humans first!
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- The Management