A Good Witch Doctor Is Never Cheap!

When giving out placebo medicines, the most expensive ones are the ones that work best.

 

The era of quack medicine never really ended, and it is still going on, to some degree, in most doctor's offices.

If this shocks you, it shouldn't. After all, it was not that long ago that people were bled for various diseases and arsenic was prescribed for syphilis.

The simple truth is that doctor's are in a tough position -- patients demand instant fixes for both real and imagined diseases, and an amazing amount of medicine has nothing to do with ligaments or muscles or infection, and quite a lot to do with the mind.

And so, men and women with medical degrees from Harvard and Johns Hopkins face what I call "The Witch Doctor's Dilemma."

Consider the simplest kind of medical visit to a veterinarian.

A dog presents with a case of limber tail. The visit alone is going to cost the dog owner at least $80, and that's before a single thing has been done. In a case like this, if the vet prescribes a 40 mg dose of over-the-counter Ibuprofen, the dog's owner may not feel he or she is getting their money's worth in veterinary care!

Yet, if this same vet looks carefully at the tail, scrunches up her face, and says "What we seem to have here is a rare condition, found only in certain working dog breeds, and only in very active dogs. This is a temporal, breed-specific, idiopathic, muscular condition, and not the kind most vets see every day. But I have good news: I know what it is, and I have a prescription for a medicine -- Rimadyl -- that is dog-specific and you cannot buy at local pharmacy. The medicine is not cheap, but I am pretty sure it will work."

Well! After that kind of stem-winding (what's it all mean?) most patients are eager to write a check for another $50.00 ("is that all?"), and the vet is only too happy to oblige, knowing that a dog with limber tail is likely to be in again at some point for a prescription refill -- at which time perhaps a round of unnecessary vaccines, blood work, and teeth cleaning can be sold. 

The joker in the deck is the simple truth that faces every witch doctor:  Most minor health care problems fix themselves, or can be fixed with cheap over-the-counter remedies.  In addition, a vast percentage of "cures" and "improvements" are only due to a placebo effect. And here's the kicker: when giving a placebo medicine, the most expensive one works best.

As The New York Times notes:

In marketing, as in medicine, perception can be everything. A higher price can create the impression of higher value, just as a placebo pill can reduce pain.

Now researchers have combined the two effects. A $2.50 placebo, they have found, works better one that costs 10 cents.

The finding may explain the popularity of some high-cost drugs over cheaper alternatives, the authors conclude. It may also help account for patients’ reports that generic drugs are less effective than brand-name ones, though their active ingredients are identical.

The investigators had 82 men and women rate the pain caused by electric shocks applied to their wrist, before and after taking a pill. Half the participants had read that the pill, described as a newly approved prescription pain reliever, was regularly priced at $2.50 per dose. The other half read that it had been discounted to 10 cents. In fact, both were dummy pills.

The pills had a strong placebo effect in both groups. But 85 percent of those using the expensive pills reported significant pain relief, compared with 61 percent on the cheaper pills. The investigators corrected for each person’s individual level of pain tolerance.

The placebo effect is not just about pills; it also has an impact in surgery.  In fact, osteoarthritic knee surgery was found to be no more effective than placebo surgery in which the patient thought surgery had been done, but it had not. In another study, Parkinson's sufferers who had holes bored into their skulls in order to receive brain cell implants said they thought they had experienced improvement even when they had not gotten the brain cell implants.

But the placebo effect could not possibly work for dogs, could it?  

It turns out, it could. 

In a study of canine seizures, dogs given an inert placebo also improved;

Twenty-two of 28 (79%) dogs in the study that received placebo demonstrated a decrease in seizure frequency compared with baseline, and 8 (29%) could be considered responders, with a 50% or greater reduction in seizures.... A positive response to placebo administration, manifesting as a decrease in seizure frequency, can be observed in epileptic dogs. This is of importance when evaluating open label studies in dogs that aim to assess efficacy of antiepileptic drugs, as the reported results might be overstated. Findings from this study highlight the need for more placebo-controlled trials in veterinary medicine.

So what's it mean at PetSmart and out on the World Wide Web?

Well, it means you will always be able to find con men selling homeopathic cures and folks who are willing to say it "sort-of" worked for them.

Of course it's not just homeopathic potions being sold (All Natural! Organic! No GMO!).

We also have the canine equivalent of "Dr. Sanden's Electric Belt for Weak Men" or "Dr. Scott's Electric Corset," only this time it's called a "Thunder Shirt".

Just look at what the "Thunder Shirt" is supposed to work on -- barking, leash pulling, anxiety, reactivity, general fearfulness, and.... (wait for it!)... as a general training tool.

It fixes EVERYTHING.

It's a MIRACLE.  

Which is to say, it's NONSENSE.  

There is no magical mechanical here.

This thing is simply a too-tight corset for dogs, and it mostly works by making the dog so uncomfortable it finds it hard to move. Straight jackets and wet sheets are a  very old "cure" for the human equivalent of barking, leash pulling, anxiety, reactivity, general fearfulness, and as a general training tool as well.

Of course, a simple too-tight dog sweater can be had for a few dollars in the off season.  

But if you want a placebo device to work better, you need to CHARGE MORE. This point has been demonstrated by SCIENCE.

And so, with that in mind, I am offering The Most Effective "Thunder-type" Shirt ever:  ones that will cost $500 apiece.  I call my version the Thunder Shit and it is priced by SCIENCE. 

Operators are standing by.