Wrecked

I am totally destroyed. Gideon is dead.

During a dig with another dog, Mountain and Gideon were leashed together, with the leash running through a fork in a low branch. I thought they would be alright, as they are both about the same size and they were hitched together on flat collars about 20 feet from where we were digging. They get along great with each other.

When we turned around, Mountain had pulled Gideon off his feet and Gideon was dead. Strangled. I did mouth to mouth and CPR, but it was too late. Neither of the dogs had made a sound. Mountain had no idea what she had done.

On the way home, I realized I was dangerous on the road. I was driving without even being aware there were cars around me. I stopped twice, but eventually got home and buried Gideon in the bamboo grove. Gone to ground one last time. I feel hollow -- like I have swallowed a grenade. 

Gideon loved every bit of his life, from tossing balls in the den to hunts in the field. He made me happy as he was always relaxed and cheerful in a very cool dog kind of way. He was a gentleman. He had a massive head and little legs, and his enthusiasm sometimes exceeded his capacity when trying to take a flying leap onto the couch or the bed.

I cannot write anymore. I am wrecked.  I cannot imagine life without my Little Man. I miss my friend.