Eating the Dead and Drinking Piss?

Rotting animals put into landfills go into the groundwater which (gasp!) people drink.

Oh. My. God!

But humans rot too, and they also go into the ground water, and they have for millions of years.

This is the Circle of Life.

Shit and urine goes into fields and rivers, and we pick fruit from those fields and drink from those rivers.  Fine stuff fruit and water!

Some of the farms where I hunt are former Civil War battlefields, and no doubt when I pluck a soybean off a plant, and pop it in my mouth, I am also swallowing a tiny little bit of heroic humanity as well.

Of course, I wash it down with urine.  Over the eons, there is no water that has not passed through a fish, a deer, a worm, a mouse, a frog, or a fox.

So, when it gets down to it, we are all eating shit and urine all the time. No big deal.

In fact, everything is recycled.  You and I will be too.

Someday, a hundred years, or a thousand years after we are dead, someone will swallow some little bit of us that has become a berry or a piece of wheat or an apple. And then they will shit us out, and the whole circle will start again.

Hardly scary stuff, is it? But it can be made scary. You can be terrified if you want.  In fact, I would stop eating entirely if I was you.

I mean, just think of the contaminants in your food -- the stuff you might not expect or intend.

For example, when you put pepper on your eggs, you are also putting up to 950 insect parts per 100 grams (assuming the pepper meets FDA standards).

Sage?  Up to 2000 insect parts per 100 grams.

That fish you had for dinner at that fine restaurant last night? Did you know there's a standard for cysts and pus pockets in fish? True. The FDA also has a standard for maggots in canned mushrooms -- no more than 20 maggots of any size per 100 grams on average.

You will be happy to know that the average mold count for cranberry sauce cannot be more than 15% on average and that the mold count of any one subsample cannot be more than 50%. Nice.

The hops they put in your beer?  It cannot average more than 2,500 aphids per 10 grams.

And everywhere, all around you, are bacteria, mites and mold.

And I have not even gotten to the toxins and the poisons. Plants are loaded with those, from cyanide in almonds, apple seeds, and cherry pits, to glycoalkaloids in tomatoes and potatoes.

Of course, the really serious chemical to worry about is Dihydrous Monoxide (DHMO). This is a substance found in most factory-processed foods, including dog food, and it is a secret ingredient that the FDA allows in organic foods as well, despite the fact that more than 85 percent of all Americans support a ban.

A colorless and odorless chemical compound sometimes known as hydric acid, Dihydrous Monoxide is known to mutate DNA, denature proteins, disrupt cell membranes, and chemically alter critical neurotransmitters.

Why is this substance still allowed in the foods we eat?  One answer: lobbyists! Congress is being paid to look the other way even as DHMO kills thousands of Americans a year.