Tuesday, November 10, 2015

We're Sorry Sarah Palin

From the Afflictor blog
comes this paragraph of apology:
Considering the poll numbers of Donald Trump and Ben Carson, we all owe Sarah Palin an apology, don’t you think?

You remember Sarah Palin, right? She was a bear-meat peddler who briefly governed the petro-socialist state of Alaska. I think she once hired a hit man to kill a rival cheerleader. Okay, I’m not sure about that part. That might have been the plot of a Lifetime movie I watched once in an airport lounge. But it still brings her to mind, doesn’t it?

I can still recall those halcyon days of 2008 when a young Sarah Palin took the stage at the Republican National Convention. Okay, maybe she wasn’t that young, but she’d gotten a lot of quality cosmetic surgery and it flattered her. She was eventually voted off the island due to her sheer idiocy and meanness, exiled to Elba or Arizona or somewhere. Now she’s merely a hologram of hate, activated occasionally in her camera-filled basement.

On behalf of everyone, I’ll offer the mea culpa: Sorry, you horrible person, that you aren’t the dangerously unprepared nutbag to capture the imagination of nationalist half-wits this time around. Take solace in knowing that this year’s models and their overt bigotry have served to redeem you from the absolute worst to almost the absolute worst, the way you once managed to make Dan Quayle seem interchangeable with Thomas Jefferson. You wore your simple mind on your sleeve but at least not on your hat."

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