Wednesday, December 31, 2014

First World Nonsense

Over on The Huffington Post, Kelly MacLean writes of Whole Foods:
Whole Foods is like Vegas. You go there to feel good but you leave broke, disoriented, and with the newfound knowledge that you have a vaginal disease.
Boom. She goes on to note what anyone can observe, even if not without her biting humor:
Next I see the gluten-free section filled with crackers and bread made from various wheat-substitutes such as cardboard and sawdust. I skip this aisle because I'm not rich enough to have dietary restrictions. Ever notice that you don't meet poor people with special diet needs? A gluten intolerant house cleaner? A cab driver with Candida? Candida is what I call a rich, white person problem. You know you've really made it in this world when you get Candida. My personal theory is that Candida is something you get from too much hot yoga. All I'm saying is if I were a yeast, I would want to live in your yoga pants.


jeffrey thurston said...

Living here in California on the Berkeley/Oakland border I am in the center of this worried wealthy maelstrom- my theory is that it comes from waaaay too much time spent with absolutely no challenges- the puss weather- the puss made up jobs- the puss problems (white hipsters walking on the freeway to protest for black people who are like Martians to them)... All this time spent not really worrying about anything and being so pampered makes these people very aware of every little mental and physical tick. If they were cold or hungry or tired from working a real job or worried about a real problem they wouldn't notice- but their SELVES become their universe and thus we have the hipster problems and solutions- veganism, gluten-freedom, and those goddam bikes clogging up our streets...

mugwump said...

My dad, a child during the depression, and a dog man I think you'd enjoy, keeps it simple. "A vegan has never been hungry."