My friend finally agreed to marry his long-time significant other.
One evening, after the honeymoon, he was in the garage cleaning out his pack and sharpening a shovel, when his wife came to the door.
After a long period of silence she finally said, "Honey, I've been thinking - now that we are married we should spend more time together. I think it's time you quit spending so much time on the dogs. Maybe you could sell some of these tools and reduce the number of terriers."
My friend was startled, a horrified look was on his face.
She said, "Oh, darling, what's wrong?"
He said, "For a minute there you sounded just like my ex-wife."
"Ex-wife!" she screamed, I didn't know you'd been married before!"
He replied, "I haven't!"