Friday, February 15, 2013

Attack of the Assault Shovel!

Ah, you have to love mass hysteria. 

It seems that in the great state of Idaho the staff and parents at a middle school in Meridian (a suburb of Boise) went bat-shit crazy when a student was seen carrying a folding “military style” short-handled shovel.

The shovel was first reported as a double-bladed axe, and the school went into an immediate lockdown as folks assumed an ax-wielding maniac was roaming the halls. 

Eight other schools also went into lockdown (cause you know there might be teams of murdering ax-wielding psychopaths out there), and the cops spent the next two hours searching the school.  An automated voice message went out to more than 1,000 parents who’d signed up for the service.  Mass panic ensued.

Read more here:

Of course, all the fuss was about nothing more than a old WWII-era folding shovel that was brought to school as part of a history class.

As Wonkette noted, school officials:

"quickly reclassified the school’s security status from 'Freaking Right The Fuck Out Over Nothing' to 'Defensively Covering Embarassment With Reassurances That We Were Acting With An Excess Of Caution For The Children.'”

Right.  A 13-year old student shared her observations about the local police:
“I just thought they were nice people that just help with the community, you know, keep everyone safe. But I never knew that they are really serious about their jobs,” he said. “This is the other side of them. Serious.”

No word yet on why armed teachers did not gun down the assault shovel-wielding student.  The NRA has promised to look into the matter.

Read more here:

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