Wednesday, July 15, 2009

This Web Site Is a Good Idea Worth Improving On



The core idea behind The Ultimate Show Breeder web site is very good, even if some of the points made suffer because the person who created it is just a little too busy rationalizing their own mercenary approach to pet production.

That said, there are some cynical gems to be found here:

  • Standards: "Standards change because the Ultimate Show Breeders get smarter all the time. The more time we spend in the show ring, the more we understand how correct conformation enhances a dog's ability to fulfill it's original purpose. In some cases, the rather poor specimens seen at the time the standards were written were not even capable of inducing the vision of all the improvements a hundred years could bring. By today's champions those old dogs were of very poor style indeed."

  • Health: "Above all, remember, health is never to be put before beauty. Beauty is what defines and creates a breed. Beauty is what attracts us to our perfect dogs. Without beauty, there is no Ultimate Show Breeder."

  • Breeding: "Only an Ultimate Show Breeder is an expert and knows what they are doing when working with dangerous color combinations and extreme inbreeding."

  • Religion: "The Ultimate Show Breeder worships at the throne of the Barbie doll. This wonderfully molded plastic icon is the perfect representation of the beauty of the female form, and we strive constantly to produce the perfect dog of our breed that so represents the ideal of the canine form. Ultimate Show Breeding is a religion. We spend our Saturdays and our Sundars at the holy ring. We meditate daily on the conformation and structure; we study the ancient texts - the pedigrees and we pray continually over the holy script, the Standard. Not only are we devout followers, we are dedicated zealots, constantly alert to substandard specimens and unethical practices."

  • Working Dogs: "Working dog people do not care what their dogs look like and pay no attention to conformation. How can they assure their dog is of a proper working structure? The answer is they can't. Their dogs are never given a proper evaluation of their capabilities in the show ring. Their conformation is never assessed for proper working structure. They are too busy 'working' their dogs. Their dogs aren't breeds, they are mutts. The training methods are barbaric and the working breeder often purposefully try to eliminate a breed's naturally full, beautiful coat because they are too lazy to provide proper humane and adequate care for their dogs."

  • Special Bonus Section: "Transform your puppy graveyard into a butterfly garden ... We'll show you how!" (graphic)
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4 comments:

Bigshrimp said...

Talk about backassward thinking!

"Working dog people do not care what their dogs look like and pay no attention to conformation. How can they assure their dog is of a proper working structure? The answer is they can't. Their dogs are never given a proper evaluation of their capabilities in the show ring. Their conformation is never assessed for proper working structure."

Function creates form!!!

Heather Houlahan said...

This site was up a few years ago, and then disappeared.

The puppy graveyard/butterfly garden is genius.

I have been accused several times of being the one behind it. Alas, no.

I truly have no idea who it is.

Anonymous said...

I needed that today.

I really did.

What sad is that parody isn't that far from the truth.

They use that term "Backyard Breeder" so much that I now run into animal rightsniks who accuse puppy millers of "breeding tons of dogs in their backyards."


Why don't these people start showing animals that are somewhat lower on the food chain-- like pigeons and hamsters? (And hamsters are already so inbred that you can't really do lot of extra damage through linebreeding)

I just don't get it.

But then I'm not an ultimate show breeder and self-styled "dog expert."

HTTrainer said...

Very funny